Hello. I am reviewing you piece "GLORY II Prologue"  for the "Invalid Item" .
Note: I'm a (light) civil war buff, so this piece has piqued my interest. I've read the introduction and the Prologue and am going to try to read the whole thing, but it's a bit long so it could take a while, since I'm in the Writers Academy and the Paper Doll Gang as well as selling my reviewing skills in auctions here and there.
General Impressions:
I want to know what happened to Monday that has him upset! I am also interested in learning more about General Forrest. I read civil war fiction, but nothing I've read has dealt much with him. You have a strong opening idea, that Monday has to get this event - whatever it is - out of his system.
Emotional Impact:
 Since this is only the first chapter, or pre-chapter as it were, there's not a lot of emotional impact. It has a good hook and has me wanting to know more. That’s exactly what it should be doing.
Suggestions for improvement:
One thing I've noticed is that in a lot of areas you have pronouns that are not clear.
You have two men talking, so you need to be careful with how you use the pronoun 'he'.
 After the Mexican war (change ‘he’ to ‘Monday’) signed on as a scout
“Take whatever time you need,” General Forrest stated, “Likely we’ll be here a spell.” He nodded as Monday turned and gently patted him on the shoulder. The General was not accustomed to such familiarity, however, with Sergeant Major Stiehl there were no holdbacks. (This is confusing. Who is touching, who does not like it? It needs to be clearer, but I’m not sure how, exactly. It’s just awkward.)
At the end of the chapter, when he begins to write, I have the following advice. If he’s not very good at words and writing, then it’s likely that he uses the least amount of them to get his point across. He wouldn’t necessarily write like he speaks. He’d use words that are easiest to spell, and not add many unneeded words.
I must needs to tell… (I need to tell…)
“(Delete?: Let me put down here from the git go, A) lot of the things I’m gonna write down were told to me by other people a long time after they really happened, and some things I have no honest way of proving other than I knowed the two (add: men involved) quite well. But, memories being what they are, and the fact that some people just naturally add their own bits and pieces of remembering to things they heard or thought they heard, some parts of this here story may not be exactly as it really happened. To the best of my recollecting I'm going to try to be fair and accurate. (I don’t like the word ‘recollecting’ here. Maybe: I'm going to try to be as fair and accurate as I can be, but I’m a fallible human, just like you.) (I’ve take creative liberty here. Ignore it if I’ve overstepped.)
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
the right sleeve bearing (bore) the faded markings
The man's general appearance gave the impression of ignorance, insolence, and nonchalance. But, one quick glance at his eyes shattered those initial impressions. (Delete: to the wind. Mixed metaphor)
but above all else(,) dominance.
a man no one in their right mind would intentionally challenge. (End it here. The rest of the sentence is redundant)
This officer was one of the few men, living or dead, he would consider (delete ‘as’) an equal.
back in 47,” Monday replied, “A(a)nd you know darn well
politics and every body (one word: everybody) tellin' me to get behind the troopers
signed on as a scout and guide for a number of wagon trains heading West. He was still doing that when the South started their struggle for independence against the Union.
 I would reword this section to say, ”signed on as a scout and guided a number of wagon trains successfully to the west before the South started their struggle for independence from the Union.
First, it sounded like one huge wagon train that he led, instead of several individual runs.
Second, since we know that he becomes a military man, do you want to use the word ‘scout’ in this context? It has a military meaning as well as a civilian one and might be slightly confusing. Perhaps a ‘mountain man’ or ‘trail guide’ might be more appropriate? I’m not sure what I would say. I, personally, might stick with ‘scout’, but I thought I’d bring it to your attention and let you think it through.
both North and South should be capitalized when it refers to a group of people.
“Reckon I failed the boy,” Monday stated, picking a piece of tobacco from between his teeth.
( New paragraph) General Forrest waited patiently for him to continue, aware (delete:now) that for some time (delete: that) (something: the past) had been gnawing at his friend’s thoughts(. S)ince he had helped to precipitate the event that continued to (bother: haunt?) Monday, he had a good idea what it was.
Since I just started reading this novel, I’m not sure what event is being referred to here, but the word ‘bother’ is very soft. It’s weak. I assume there’s a more appropriate word that fits here, but I don’t know what it is. Same goes for ‘something’. Forrest knows that it is, but the word something suggests that he doesn’t.
down at Brice's. (Delete Kinda, you just used it a sentence ago.) Let people
keeping himself(,) and the goat-brained greenhorns under his care(,) from getting killed.
drew the rich nicotine-charged smoke deep into his lungs (did they have the word ‘nicotine’? It seems a bit modern.)
, he begin (began) to write.
Final Thoughts:
As with most historical fiction I am always wondering where the line between truth and fiction lies. Is Monday a real person, or a fiction?
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First Impressions:
I had to laugh at the image of your two grandmother, but by the end I was closer to crying.
My Favorite Part:
'my legacy in stone'
Suggestions for Improvement: (This is your story, these are only my suggestions. I offer them freely, knowing you may simply ignore them.)
I loved the first stanza. You introduce the women, contrast them, then intertwine them. You follow that pattern in the second and fourth verse, but it skips the third. I wanted to know what the second grandmother did to show her love, or why she did not. I need to hear from Marie in verse three. 
Plot/Characters/Settings:
Your poem makes me wish I had met your grandmothers. It's very honest, and yet inviting.
Final Notes:
This is a nice piece and I would have read more of it if it had been longer. I would like to see a few more compare/contrast/intertwine stanzas about the women. I'd like to know how they liked each other, if they ever faught, how they met the men they married...I want to know more about them. That's the mark of good writing, eh?
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