Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth! I think this is great, I wish morer people would stand up for the troups, God knows they are standing up for us.
Stryker
This is very simple and to the point, but in saying that I must tell you that it is also my favorite one you have poseted. A lot of emotion in the background, and you paint a picture of great imagry.
Stryker
Ok, I just reviewed this, so either the system messed up and is letting me do it twice, or it didnt get the first one. Either way I am giving you a five again. And in case you didn't get the first one, I will say over what I said then. I love this so far. I feel an incredible, for lack of another word, sexiness in your writing. I can feel a pasion that seems as if it is trapped and you free it only in your writing. I may be way off base here, but I like to look not only at the story when I read, but also at what the writer is feeling when they write. If you can feel the things the writer is feeling, then you become part of the story, not just an outsider looking in. I must tell you that I hate romance novels, but you have my attention, I like yours. Will you let me know when you have more? Also on a personal level, I figure it is fair seeing as how you know so much about me, do you really have green eyes? Sounds crazy I know, but I know of a total of 9 people with them, I am seeing how many really have them. I got stuck with blue.
Stryker P.S. I am putting your story into my blog, yes I like it that much!
I would look into dropping the second stanza, it really hurts the flow, and you dont lose any meaning. Other than that I loved it, you really nailed the way people look at God. There is a song called through the fire I think you would enjoy, Randy Travis does a wonderful job with it, part of it says:
He never promised,
that the cross would not get heavy
or the hill would not be hard to climb
he never offered victory without firghting,
he said help would always come in time
just remember when your standing in the valley of decision
and the advesary says give in
don't give up
the Lord will show up and he will take you thrugh the fire again. Thank you for sharing
This is wonderful, with one tiny little catch. The flow is out standing wutinl you get to:
"We try to see, through blinded eyes
the path we chose to take."
to here
"The future of all life
rests within pure hearts,"
it is almost as though you stopped between these two lines and came back to it later(I know how this sounds because I do it all the time) I can not tell you how to change it, the words are from your sould not mine, but "if it were me" I would simply put a space between them and let it fly, or I would write the reviewer back and tell him to politely kiss my @#*!! lol... Keep it up I love reading you stuff.
This is a very powerful look at the regret that we keep locked inside. You did a wonderful thing by taking this regret and making it a thing of beauty rather than keeping it a thing of sorrow. Keep it up!
You did a wonderful job with this. I could feel the rain and the humidity on my shin, but even more amazingly I could hear the thunder. Thank you for sharing.
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