Ben, firstly thank you for reading my work and taking the time to review it. I like your style of writing. The fact that you are writing from experience and that you are telling a story drew me in. I am sorry I could not read the whole work, but what I did read I did enjoy. You painted a picture for each scene and I was able to imagine what you were describing. My only suggestion is that you show me, and not tell me everything.
For example, when you described yourself, your looks, and your hair, maybe you could have set it more into the story instead of writing it like a work report.
Maybe, you could be with a woman who is sizing up your looks, or running her fingers through your gray and silver hair. I think in a novel you have more room to play, but in short fiction, less is better. I hope to read more of your work in the future. Good luck.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mattspano
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 8:26pm on Nov 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
