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36 Public Reviews Given
75 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Walking with Dad  Open in new Window.
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)

Judges review for
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1172300 by Not Available.



*Right* MECHANICS (spelling, grammer, etc)
         *Check4* - I saw no obvious spelling, grammer, punctuation errors.
         *Check4* - A few sentences seemed very long and I needed to read them twice to capture them.
         *Check4* - The story stayed true to the Scriptures.
         *Check4* - Contest rules were followed.


*Right* CONTENT
         *Check4* - Followed the story as written in Genesis, I think you could expand this and make it fresh by writing some descriptive details into the story. A conversation on the way to Moriah (perhaps a teaching moment by Abraham), what (in detail) did Moriah look like.



*Right* FIRST THREE PARAGRAPHS
         *Check4* - Good opening
         *Check4* - I knew the major characters, the setting and which bible story you were writing about.
         *Check4* - I was drawn into the story early.



*Right* PLUSSES
         *Check4* - Good imagery. Would like to see more.



*Right* PARTING THOUGHTS
         *Check4* - There's more story here - I would really like to see more of the minor details worked into the story. You can add alot of details that aren't in scripture without changing the story itself.



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2
2
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

Judges review for
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1172300 by Not Available.



*Right* MECHANICS (spelling, grammer, etc)
         *Check4* - I saw no spelling, grammer or punctuation error.
         *Check4* - Paragraphs were well contructed



*Right* CONTENT
         *Check4* - Stayed true to the scriptures but built in good creativity and imagery.



*Right* FIRST THREE PARAGRAPHS
         *Check4* - Drew me in right away, and I knew the setting and the main character. Good opening.



*Right* PLUSSES
         *Check4* - The story flowed well.
         *Check4* - The picture provided a good visual of the donkey while reading the story.
         *Check4* - The title fit the story very well.



*Right* PARTING THOUGHTS
         *Check4* - Good job. I would like to see the story continue on. Let me know if you extend it.


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3
3
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)

Good quiz - and generally, yes, the results do fit me.
Thanks *Delight*



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4
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Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)

Oh boy - my first impression was 'piece of cake' and thought I would ace this quiz. Guess it's been too long since I was in school. I didn't do so good afterall.

Nice quiz - good job!!



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5
5
Review of What Do You Miss?  Open in new Window.
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)

Ah yes!!! The aprons. I had forgotten about those - sad to say. My mother always had one - and I had my own too. We had sewn them together - it was my first sewing project when she taught me to sew. And, she always had a surprise for me in her apron pockets! And everytime she put it on - you knew you would soon smell something sweet baking in the oven!

My mother and I were best friends. We lost my father when I was 10 and my siblings were older and married, so it was just the two of us for many years. That's what I miss from my childhood, my best friend. And I think that's one thing that many children of today never really experience; being intimately close with their parents and family. Family meals at the table instead of the TV. Family vacations where you spend time together fishing and talking or relaxing together rather than going their separate ways at the amusement park to 'meet back here in 4 hours...'

Thanks again! I am enjoying my stay in your port.




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6
6
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

Beautiful. You mother sounds like a grand lady.
Blessings -



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7
7
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful Story.
You are receiving a surprise port raid (for no particular reason) - I'll be in your port for awhile - you have a lot of interesting items.



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Click on these images for two great contests:
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** - OR - ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
         Invalid Item Open in new Window. - - - - - - Christmas Story Contest 2006--CLOSED Open in new Window.

Both are hosted by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon

*Snow1* ~ *Snow2* ~ *Snow1* ~ *Snow2* ~ *Snow1* ~ *Snow2* ~ *Snow1* ~ *Snow1* ~ *Snow2* ~ *Snow1* ~ *Snow2*


8
8
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Exclaim* *Exclaim****JUDGES REVIEW FOR****Exclaim* *Exclaim*
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1141125 by Not Available.
Round 3 - Ended Nov 7th 2006

*Gift1**Gift2*CONGRATULATIONS ON 2ND PLACE TIE*Gift2**Gift1*


*Exclaim* JUDGES NOTE: Each category will be rated from 0*Star*'s to 5 *Star*'s. All stars will then be totaled and averaged and this will be the item's final *Star* rating. This final rating will be used to determine the winners.

*Right*Following of Rules & Guidelines - *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* = 5
- All rules followed


*Right* Spelling, Punctuation, Grammer - *Star**Star**Star**Star* = 4
- Several dialogue sentences had no ending punctuation or ended with a comma
ie: "Knock it off", "...but, you need me,"


*Right* Imagery - *Star**Star**Star**Star* = 4
- Good imagery.

*Right* Characters - *Star**Star**Star**Star* = 4
- Good characters

*Right* Use of Dialogue - *Star**Star**Star**Star* = 4
- Plenty of dialogue, each character had his/her own 'voice'

*Right* Plot - *Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* = 4-1/2
- Plot worked well, I liked the twist you used towards the end with the notebook

*Right* Overall Impression - *Star**Star**Star**Star*
- Enjoyed the story. Good job!



Scoring: 1-*Star*= 1 point
Total Points (35 possible) = *Star* 29.5*Star*
Average (5 = perfect) 4.214*Star**Star**Star**Star*


Reviewed by: MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
9
9
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Exclaim* *Exclaim****JUDGES REVIEW FOR****Exclaim* *Exclaim*
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1141125 by Not Available.
Round 2 - September 2006

*Gift1* CONGRATULATIONS - FIRST PLACE WINNER!!!!! *Gift1*


*Exclaim* JUDGES NOTE: Each category will be rated from 0*Star*'s to 5*Star*'s. All stars will then be totaled and averaged and this will be the item's final *Star* rating. This final rating will be used to determine the winners.


*Right*Following of Rules & Guidelines - *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
- All rules followed

*Right* Spelling, Punctuation, Grammer - *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
- I saw no problems here at all - great job!

*Right* Imagery - *Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*
- Great Imagery! The way your portrayed your characters allowed me to develop an image in my head for each one.

*Right* Characters - *Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*
- Each character was separate and distinct, and fit your plot and story well.

*Right* Use of Dialogue - *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
- Great opening!
- Good separation of characters by use of dialogue. I could 'hear' different voices and personalities as each one spoke.

*Right* Plot - *Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*
- Good plot, flows well. (Love the name of the high school love story *Laugh*)
- Great ending! You sent that critic packing!

*Right* Overall Impression - *Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*
Great job - well written. I really enjoyed this item! Two very distinct characters which was obvious from the first couple of sentences. Good job!


Scoring: 1-*Star*= 1 point
Total Points (35 possible) = *Star* 33 *Star*
Average = 4.71 *Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* (too bad there isn't a 3/4 *Star*)


Reviewed by: MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
10
10
Review of On Giving Reviews  Open in new Window.
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great. I've marked this as a favorite so I can refer back to it when reviewing items. Thanks!

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11
11
Review of The Carpenter  Open in new Window.
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very good. I had never really thought much about the one who crafted the cross. This gives me something new to ponder.

I also liked the fact that you centered this item. That works well for this.

No obvious spelling, grammer or punctuation errors.

Good job - welcome to writing.com.

Keep writing!
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12
12
Review of Secret Garden  Open in new Window.
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good job! You kept my attention through the entire story. And the story line was great.

One suggestion I would make is that whenever you have a sentence that is an internal thought, it should be italicized. As in the sentence:
         "Huh? What does this mean?"

Also - towards should be singular in "I look towards the bedroom closet" and I crawl on my hands and knees towards it..."

Good Job - Keep writing, and welcome to Writing.com !

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13
13
Review of Dear Grandfather  Open in new Window.
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
How true this is. I too have parents and grandparents that I wish I could have one last conversation with. I am sorry for your loss.

Your letter is a personal item, and I really don't like to make suggestions on such personal things.

I only have one suggestion. In the sentence -
"I think life didn't turn out the way you would've liked it to" - I would suggest replacing the contraction would've with would have (two words). I think it flows better. Quite often, a contraction breaks the flow of the words.

Keep writing - and welcome to Writing.com

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14
14
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wonderful -

Thanks for posting this in:
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1047382 by Not Available.


Marys-Tears
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15
15
Review of GREAT BLESSINGS  Open in new Window.
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very nice. I'm glad you let your faith shine through your writing.

One thing - in the line:
Let my light shine for you, so someone else can see it to
'to' at the end should be spelled 'too'

Merry Christ-mas
Marys-Tears

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16
16
Review of individual worth  Open in new Window.
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wonderful. This flowed nicely, and the subject matter is great. Priesthood is just as you describe it. Double spacing it made it a little difficult me for to read - I would have liked to see it single spaced and the double spaced between each verse.

ie:
The priesthood power
To act for God
On earth is here today.
A sacred power of strength and faith
Requires we walk God's way.

No counterfeit can interfere
etc...

Thank you for sharing this.

Marys-Tears
 The One Who Makes Me Whole Open in new Window. (E)
A relationship with the Lord Jesus is what makes me whole.
#1030370 by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
17
17
Review by MarysTears Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow - wonderful. And it reminds me to make sure I don't bury the message between the lines as I write.

My favorite part is:

Joy, to me, is also basking in the Son, Jesus Christ, who died for each of us. It is resting His arms, feeling His love and strength in my very being.

That says it all. I've added you to my favorite authors. Please check out my port - more to come.

Marys-Tears
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