MECHANICS (spelling, grammer, etc)
- I saw no obvious spelling, grammer, punctuation errors.
- A few sentences seemed very long and I needed to read them twice to capture them.
- The story stayed true to the Scriptures.
- Contest rules were followed.
CONTENT
- Followed the story as written in Genesis, I think you could expand this and make it fresh by writing some descriptive details into the story. A conversation on the way to Moriah (perhaps a teaching moment by Abraham), what (in detail) did Moriah look like.
FIRST THREE PARAGRAPHS
- Good opening
- I knew the major characters, the setting and which bible story you were writing about.
- I was drawn into the story early.
PLUSSES
- Good imagery. Would like to see more.
PARTING THOUGHTS
- There's more story here - I would really like to see more of the minor details worked into the story. You can add alot of details that aren't in scripture without changing the story itself.
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **