Very well done. I’d love to give you the broken down detailed review I try and do on these stories but there isn’t any need. The story is compelling, the pacing and tone are excellent, it’s visually and esthetically pleasing. Just well done all around.
Best praise I can give is that I read it end to end and never once felt like I was pulled out of the story, never once stopped to look how much more there was to read. First 5 I’ve given.
Very well written. The overall tone and flow of the piece is very nice. The reader can feel the unease and the awkwardness quite well. I did enjoy reading it.
Technical:
There are a few places where words are out of place. For example "Aliya though she could hear him swallow". (Should have been "thought") or here "Aliya read the line out and heard a smattering". (Should have been "out loud"). These would have passed a spell checker, but should have been picked up by a grammar one. Regardless, don't JUST spell and grammar check your piece. Read it over many times. I would even suggest printing it out and going over it on paper with a pencil and marking it up. You can often catch things on paper at a desk, that you can miss on a screen. Other than that, it is a nice clean, well formatted piece. It is clear you spent some time making sure it looked and read well.
Plot
Simple enough here, nothing complex to get into. But it is clear and well done. Even in so short a piece you do have a nice clear development path for your protagonist. From awkward humiliation to romance.
Tone/Flow
The only place I really have any critique. There are just some places that are awkward, especially transitions between paragraphs.
Example:
"Aliya read the line out and heard a smattering of snickers behind her. She paused just long enough for Mr. Houston to look up at her. Apparently he had not heard the snickering or he didn't much care." When you say she paused till he looked up at her, and then apparently he didn't care about the snickers. Why not? What is there about just looking up at her that would indicate to the reader that he didn't care about the snickers? It just feels like a little more explanation would have given it better transition. Possibly something like "Aliya read the line out loud and heard a smattering of snickers behind her. (Would they have been behind her? Wouldn't she be facing the class?) She paused just long enough for Mr. Houston to look up at her , impatience clear on his face. Apparently he had not heard the snickering or he didn't much care." Something to make it clear to the reader that the "look up" was directed at her and not anything else.
Example
She was still trying to calm her heart beat and pray for her crimson blush to fade when she heard Mr. Houston's deep drawl. This sounds like she was still "trying to pray" for her blush to fade. Changing this to just "praying" makes it clearer she was doing 2 different things. She was still trying to calm her heart beat and praying for her crimson blush to fade when she heard Mr. Houston's deep drawl.
Conclusion
Very nicely done piece. I enjoyed it and it reads very well. The critiques are small and do not take away from the overall piece really. I would definitely look for and read other works that you do. Keep up the good work!
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But it is clear and well done. Even in so short a piece you do have a nice clear development path for your protagonist. From awkward humiliation to romance.