The lines ending in
"rest in this lair
will drift in air
I am out there
how much I care"
show a deep parental concern while at the same time understanding the need of our children to discover life for themselves.
I like the rhythm of the lines, almost like a very soft drum beat.
I look forward to seeing more of your writing.
Bondad
Dear Clare,
Thank you for having the trust and valor to share such deep suffering with us and taking the time to express it so poignantly and beautifully.
This is a very good attempt at healing through writing.
Marta Esperanza (Bondad)
Dear hey?:D,
This is a great way to start the new year, new decade and new association with Writing.Com. It also shows compassion and sensitivity on your part. How can you go wrong? Welcome!
Sincerely,
Marta Esperanza (Bondad)
I wish you and your Honey many more years of happiness and good health.
My honey (Frank) and I will have been married 50 years, God willing, in the summer of 2010. You never know what life will bring as you both start out but I feel very grateful that our life has been full of blessings and family, even during the difficult times.
I hope you've had a beautiful Christmas and the New Year will bring the best of everything.
Dear Beeline, Thanks for making Robert Griggs' work available to us.
Dear Robert,
Normally, what I am interested in writing is poetry. However, sometimes I hear certain lyrics in Spanish (it was my native language in Puerto Rico for nearly 6 years) or read a poem, and I feel a longing, a need to translate them into English. The beauty of the music will attract me, but what takes it to the level of my wanting to translate is the message and the eloquence, the elegance, the intelligence, the sensitivity of the piece. Each time I rediscover that writing poetry and writing lyrics are two different processes. I have greater freedom with poetry and can be more esoteric in word choice. Of course, with lyrics, one must conform to the music but also the language must be pleasing and the vocabulary far more accessible to a general audience. That creates a greater challenge.
You have written a pleasing, easy on the ear, thoughtful lyrics that are respectful to their recipient.
Thank you for sharing them with us and I hope you are inspired to keep writing.
Dear Puzzled Poet,
What a sweet poem to Grampa! There is no easy way of accepting the day to day absence of those we love and love us, especially those who dote on us as children, as grandparents so often do. But you have done a beautiful job of capaturing and expressing the closeness between you. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful sentiment.
Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year.
Sincerely,
Marta Esperanza (Bondad)
"I miss the deep-seated memories I had of you,
Slowly fading away"
I think that is part of God's gift of healing to us, and receiving the ability to focus on different aspects of our lives without being completely overcome with grief. However, with my mother's death, the most painful to me thus far, I find myself purposely surrounding myself with her belongings, holding them, smelling them, remember times shared where these objects were part of our experience, but especially remembering ways she would suggest that I lead my life in order to make a difference and enrich my life and that of others. At the time I didn't pay too much attention, now I remember them all at different times that are relevant. I do miss holding her though, so much.
It hurts but thanks for not letting the memory fade by sharing your words .
Marta Esperanza
On a terrible day in May
You came home with another
I grew sad and dim, because
I knew this wasn't your mother.
With this kind of humor, I have a feeling you will be all right when life throws you some curves. Although I know from experience that there are times in life when crying is the ONLY response we can possibly have and the ability to cry is ALSO a blessing. But that verse is hysterical.
Thanks, I needed that!
Salem,
I have difficulty focusing my attention on fiction, perhaps because I get distracted easily or, nearing my 70th year, and having read a fair amount of it when I was younger, now feel a need to focus on other fare. Essays, sometimes biography, some of the classics, analysis, translation (from Spanish to English) and opinion in general, and, of course, poetry (poetry is life to me!) are the materials that attract me most.
However, when I looked at your piece "They Meet" it caught my attention and I felt myself wanting to finish reading it so that I could find out what was to happen next. Thank you so much for reawakening that interest in me.
One more thing, my OCD leads me to proof read things even when I DON'T WANT TO DO SO. Near the end of the 7th paragraph, (figure instead of figured), also, should it be "its" arms since Sophie is not sure of whether it's a male or female?
Thanks again and keep on writing. Don't leave us in suspense!
Marta Esperanza
Ben,
Thank you, thank you. This is wonderful. I can't begin to imagine taking pride in anything we accomplish without awareness that it would not be possible without God's grace. I appreciate your reference to the "will" in the act of devotion when Sunday's "fire" may not be fueling our faith. At the bottom of my poem MITHUNA (in my portfolio) I come to a similar conclusion.
Marta Esperanza
Ben,
Marta Esperanza again. I spend my life seeking, for many different things, among them persons from whom I feel I can learn something. You are one of them. With this poem and an Elizabethan sonnet written by "merrijane" about getting up in the middle of the night to feed her child, you two have encouraged, excited me to try my hand at the "form" once again. I have only (consciously)* tried one Elizabethan sonnet, one that I wrote for my husband, Frank, during a poetry writing class in the Spring of 1999 (see "A SONG OF MY HERO'S LIFE" in my portfolio). Three and a half years later I wrote a Spanish translation/version, "CANCION A MI HEROE" of it (also in my portfolio). * I say "consciously" because most of the time I haven't got a clue about what I'm attempting, only making sure it meets my self-imposed requirement. I once wrote a longish poem in Spanish based on "Mary had a little lamb" (Maria tiene una oveja). I sent it to a friend in Spain (a professor of sociology and political science with poetic sensibilities) who said "Lo que has escrito aqui es un "romance" muy tierno y conmovedor." ("What you have written here is a most tender and moving 'romance'.") to which my reaction was "Thank you very much. What's a romance? As you can see, I have a lot LEARN and you have a lot to TEACH.
Your poem is a pleasure! Our lives are full of "what might have beens" and "roads not taken" but, oh, so many of the choices we make turn out to be wonderful too. We just need to be CONSCIOUS of and GRATEFUL for them in order for the outcomes to meet their best full potential. Thanks again. I'll stay aware of your work.
Marta Esperanza (Bondad)
Clarissa,
You were the first person to review one of my poems - "DON'T GO" - written for my mother, when I realized I would not always have her with me, and you were so sweet. I'm beginning to learn to find my way around this site and am sorry that I have not had a chance to get to your work again until now.
This poem is just lovely in its artlessness (sincere and natural). There is no need to forget our parents and our experiences with them. On the contrary, I find, as time goes by, a gentleness that makes their not being physically present, easier to bear. But also I remember more details about them that make me feel wrapped in their love and guide me in my attitudes and decisions. I hope the same will be true for you as you remember, love and honor them in your life. Take care of yourself and keep living creatively.
Marta Esperanza
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