Congratulations on winning Stormy's poetry contest with this poem. You've done a great job here with beautiful, evocative description and wonderful use of the prompt words.
I just spotted one slight error. You write 'Charcoals' but need to lose the s on the end for it to make sense grammatically.
Apart from that this is great and worthy of the win.
This poem made me chuckle which is just what I needed today. It's very easy now Christmas and New Year are over to fall victim to those post holiday blues. This fun verse is a wonderful antidote to that and I highly recommend it.
I love the gentle humour. The poem is well edited and flows really well with great use of rhyme. As a performance poet, I must say this would be a wonderful poem to read aloud.
I spotted no errors and have no hesitation in giving this the full five star rating I feel it richly deserves.
This is a fun little poem about a couple's love for their child. The words flow well with great rhythm aided by short lines and effective use of rhyme. I particularly like the 'child / styled' rhyme. That made me smile. Very clever.
The only part of the poem that didn't quite work for me was where you write 'some ladies make dents'. I really don't know what you mean by that, and it feels a little forced to meet the rhyme. Of course this is only my opinion. Other readers may feel differently.
This is a lovely, positive poem on love that made me smile as I read it. It feels like an out-pouring, a stream of consciousness on the subject. Although I couldn't quite understand the meaning behind all your phrasing a little ambiguity and obscurity is fine when, as is the case here, there is enough emotion expressed for the reader to engage with the subject matter.
I like the wordplay in this poem and you use rhyme to great effect.
This is a sweet little romantic poem that anyone in love can relate too. I love your use of rhyme here and the poem flows well with great rhythm.
You write 'there’s no place I’d be' when I think you mean there's no place I'd rather be. This may be worth editing to make the point clearer. If you want to maintain the same syllable count to keep the rhythm and flow then maybe something like 'no other place I'd be' would work. That's merely a suggestion but I hope it helps.
Over all you've done a great job with this and I enjoyed this poem a great deal. Thanks for sharing your work.
This is a wonderful example of the Dorsimbra form. I really like the picture you've included with the poem too.
You seem to have met all the requirements of the form and the poem flows really well. Your effective use of alliteration really helps with this. The title fits the poem well and this was a pleasure to read.
Congratulations on having this featured in this week's newsletter.
This is a wonderful example of the Dorsimbra form. You meet all the criteria and use the requirements of the form to great effect. Lovely subject matter as well -- about a new addition to the family. I remember the Stretch Your Style contest with much affection so it was a bonus that your poem reminded me of that. Congratulations on having this featured in this week's poetry newsletter.
I love the rhythm and flow of this poem. With its pacy short lines and great use of rhyme I think this would sound fantastic read aloud. The poem has an emotional warmth to it and a romantic feel. Can't find anything that needs improving. Very happy to give this a full five stars. Thanks for sharing your work :D
This a thoughtful, philosophical poem. I like how you use sound with the children and dogs at the start of this poem. That really drew me in. I enjoyed the roller-coaster imagery in this. Although depicting life's downs as well as ups you've chosen to end on a positive, inspiring note with your last two couplets. I like that. Good work :D
This is a very powerful expression of your views about the military and all that is left unsaid in the recruitment ads. War is a nasty business and this poem doesn't shy away from the truth of this. I think many readers will share your view. Not only does your message come across strongly but it really works well as poetry. Your words flow well and this has a very polished feel. I can't find any errors or suggest any improvements, thus the full five star rating.
This is a lovely example of a non-traditional haiku. You've made every word count and obviously paid attention to how the words sound together. I especially love your opening line. Your ending put a smile on my face too. I very much enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing your work.
This is a thoughtful, aching poem about loss. You use rhyme to great effect and overall this helps the pace and rhythm of the poem.
I think maybe changing 'it's' to 'they're' in the second line of your second stanza is worth considering as 'letters' and 'calls' in the previous line are both plural.
This poem ably illustrates how useful it can be to express yourself in writing and the importance of having someone there to share.
this is a thoughtful, and thought-provoking reflection on the upcoming American presidential election. It's very topical. Obviously these are difficult times for American politics with many voters disillusioned by both Trump and Clinton. There's a lot of emotional reaction to the current political situation so one thing that I particularly like about your poem is how restrained it is while in no way diminishing the difficult choice facing the country.
It's hard to write love poetry without repeating what's been said thousands of times before. It is such a common theme. However, this poem's focus on what love is not rather than what it is gives it some originality. I really like how you've structured the poem. It flows well and you've chosen your words with care. I particularly like the subtle reference to Romeo and Juliet.
This is a wonderfully descriptive little poem about the positive effects of a dream-catcher as protector, enabling peaceful sleep. Your words flow well, and I particularly like how 'dream-catcher' works with 'saviour' in your penultimate line, in terms of how the words sound. You mention children but I think many adults get comfort from dream-catchers too.
I very much enjoyed this poem. Thanks for sharing.
This is a great example of the haiku form which fits all the criteria in terms of syllable count, and also references nature (with the bug) as traditional haiku does. I love the ambiguity of the phrase 'beat on' as this could mean different things to different readers. The image of the cockroach looking down from the ceiling is strong too.
All told you paint an interesting scene in very few words. Well done with this.
Keep writing!
This is an evocative poem about the legend of The Sirens that lure sailors to their deaths. Your use of rhyme and short lines give the poem good pacing and it flows well.
The line 'their eyes do gleam' seems a little awkwardly phrased. Much more natural to say 'their eyes gleam'. To put the extra syllable back in the line you could perhaps give their eye colour eg. 'their green eyes gleam'. That's only a suggestion though.
You also use the word 'Thats' which needs an apostrophe before the s.
Otherwise I spotted no errors and enjoyed reading this poem. Always good to see the old myths and legends retold for new audiences.
This is a lovely, uplifting poem in celebration of love. I really like the sounds of the words here and how they work together. This makes the poem a good one to read aloud and you've obviously taken great care in the word choice. The title fits the poem well, and I must say it is one of the best poems of yours I've read. It left me with a smile on my face. Keep up the good work.
This is a very powerful and moving poem focusing on the personal cost and sacrifice of war. The tone is sensitive and heartfelt without being overly sentimental, emotive without being melodramatic. The poem is beautifully crafted with great use of rhyme. It's easy to read despite its subject matter. Didn't spot any errors and am very happy to give this a full 5 stars.
This is a fun, positive poem about preparing for NaNoWriMo. I love the humorous nod to the famous 'Night Before Christmas' poem in the first stanza. The way you reference Halloween and NanNo in the same poem is also great. The poem flows well and you use rhyme effectively. Congratulations on having this poem featured in the current poetry newsletter. Good luck if you're doing NaNo again this year.
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This is a lovely, simple little poem of encouragement for writers taking part in NaNoWriMo in November. The title is very apt and I think many readers will be inspired by the content of the poem. Your use of couplets and rhyme give the poem pace and it's easy to read and clear in both meaning and intent. A big part of belonging to a writing community is encouraging our fellow writers. You do a great job of that here.
This is a thoughtful, reflective poem that well conveys the harsh reality of the start of the working week. However, it highlights the need that many people feel to find balance at the weekends by spending time with friends with laughter, seeking 'fun and relaxation'. I think many readers will relate to this. It is good company and the ability to find enjoyment where we can which is able to sustain us through the difficulties of both work and life. I like the title of this poem and found it very apt. I also like the alliteration in the title and throughout the poem.
Love poetry is very hard to do well just because it's so common and prone to clichés. You've created something both beautiful and original here in this short poem though. You display a great gift for recognising how words sound together and I think this would be a wonderful poem to read aloud. Some lovely imagery as well. I was captivated from beginning to end. Couldn't spot any errors. Really enjoyed this immensely thus have no hesitation in giving 5 stars.
This is a wonderful, heart-felt love poem that in its sincerity avoids the clichés that are too often found in this kind of poem. I like the way you bring in faith and God which really illustrates the divine spark within loving relationships. If God is love, surely we are closer to God when we love in turn. The poem flows very well and you use rhyme to excellent effect here.
This is a beautiful, poignant little poem that focuses less on the destruction and tragedy of 9/11 but more on the positive bond it created between people. That's a very positive message, to maintain that bond and not forget. You use meter and rhyme to wonderful effect in this poem and I think it would work well read aloud. Congratulations on having this featured in the current poetry newsletter.
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