I can understand this one. Reminds me of back in the day, when we used to have teachers who "bled" all over our assignments with a red marker or pen and it felt like they had torn a hole in our aching little bleeding hearts and 'ripped us up in bits and chunks'.
The learning curve from a disoriented and detached writer to a focused and holistic one is a long journey.
But this poem speaks to a determined soul who is equal to the task and ready for a fight on the way to excellence and 'sky-kissing'.
My favorite line: BROKE MY LIMBS OFF, KNEE TO FEET. That was one of those lines that sneak up on you and make you go "Oh, well excuse me then."
It also reminds me of my freshman year English teacher who made me feel as if I couldn't get anything right until I passed (with the highest score in the college), the Regents exam that his "favorite A student" flunked. I was subsequently personally invited by the Chair of the English Department to skip my freshman and sophomore level classes and proceed straight to 300/400-level.
My professor acted like he didn't care much for my abilities as a writer, but "I taught myself to fill that empty cup."
The transition from "When I" to "When you" is like a bump in the road.
The movement and flow of this poem jerks from focusing on the Poet/Narrator to the Mother/Character without explanation and it gives the impression of a driver suddenly whirling around and changing direction without telling us why.
However, the idea is eternal, as it is about mother love and it seems to be a good one to work on for Valentine's Day 2013.
I found this enjoyable. Wish I could pronounce some of the foreign words that were incorporated, though. This would be good to hear in an audio version also so an out-loud reader can pronounce the words. Thanks for sharing.
Very good, but missing something. I wanted more. It could have stood to be filled out a bit more, dramatized a bit more. I fell into the story and then got cut off by its brevity. The main character was interesting and drew me in immediately. Make longer, I would like to read more.
I know the feeling. It is not a good feeling to look in the mirror and not see the youthful zest and energy of what seems like a thousand eons ago and to wonder if that reflection will ever change back to the "strong smile" again.
A very good stream of conscience poem about the experience of writer's block and how it feel to release it. Once that happens, it seems like the flow never stops and the words never stop flowing.
Good stuff. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the future.
I remember a time like that...of sitting on an old woman's porch listening to her memories of her dad from the glory days of the civil war, and her long-dead husband, and the many things she had witnessed over a 70-year lifespan. It's a good feeling and I wish I could have stayed longer, but my "dream" of listening to the woman talk all night was interrupted by my sister who had to go to work the next morning.
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