A very good poem that I really enjoyed. It provided an interesting perspective on writing. I do how ever have a few suggestions to make.
In the last line of the first stanza, consider changing 'that' to 'what.' I think that the latter would do a better job of holding true to the pattern you set up earlier in the stanza.
In the third stanza the 'to' just before 'arrogant' should be 'too.'
In the second to last line of the fourth stanza, I don't believe that you need the first comma.
Overall a wonderful piece. I hope to read more of your work in the future. So until next time, write on!
A very interesting poem with good flow and word choice. I especially liked the second stanza. I do have a few suggestions to make:
In the third stanza, in lines four and six, 'living' should be 'leaving'.
In the same stanza, in line twelve, the punctuation should probably be a comma before the word 'like' instead of the semicolon after it. Also a comma should follow the last word in each of the next two lines to keep the structure consistent.
Overall it was a very good piece that I enjoyed reading. Write on!
Mariah
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mariah_fraser
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 10:37pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
