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Public Reviews
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Review of The Gift  Open in new Window.
Review by SentenceOpeners Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
A nice fantasy, enjoyable, and incantatory. Yet the writing is marred by tedious repetitive pattern of 'subject-verb-complement.'
Not only does the narrative need sentence variation, but other techniques to thrust it forward. Yet I like the story very much.
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Review by SentenceOpeners Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
As it is the story is only interesting. With some general revisions it has the potential of being worked into a fine, terrific story. Here are my suggestions: (1) Try some sentence variation. 90 percent of the sentences are of the boring type S-V-C (subject, verb, complement. (2) In the action scene, try some intransitive verbs (like Ian Fleming does in his James Bond novels). (3) In the climatic scene try some nominative absolutes. (4) The switch in point of view at the end is jarring. Good luck!
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