Wow! What an excellent job of writing! You took a prompt that could have taken you anywhere, and led the reader down a most unexpected path. I have become a fan! Please keep these works coming.
I have only read the first chapter thus far. I like the way that the writer has taken the typical story of a soldier dealing with the wounds of war, and introduced the twist of the injuries occurring to a female soldier. The new reality of female soldiers enduring combat, and its aftermath, is a void which needs to be explored. This story plunges into that void head first. It is well written, and comes at us in the difficult "first person" form. It is a sobering change from the more commonplace stories.
This was an excellent piece. The story was nicely developed; the lead character had substance, and was easy to identify with. The conflict and unpredictable twist were nicely done. Making all of these elements effective, and yet remaining within the tight boundaries of a Flash Fiction format is difficult task, yet nicely handled here.
What an excellent story! One of the best flash fiction stories I have read. The blend of horror and comedy is a difficult task, but is masterfully done in this piece. Kudos to the author for a memorable tale! Please keep this type of stories coming!
I really loved the poem. The allegory of hiding behind a protective beast, like the protection we find by being afraid to dare, or to take a chance, is brilliant. If we find comfort in the protective beast, as in the final lines of the poem, then we become doomed to the anger and loneliness that you predict.
It is very insightful to see that indulging the safety of walking behind the beast prevents us from choosing our own path, and that fear of a broken heart is crippling.
Of course, that's just my interpretation. If I've gotten it wrong, I apologize. Regardless, it is a memorable piece. Thank you for sharing it.
This is a beautiful piece! You are asking for an honest critique, and input as to any suggested changes. I honestly feel that you should change nothing. Any such suggestion I would make would be of no use here, because I think this poem demonstrates talent beyond my own. The sentiment expressed here is very insightful: It is not that our loved ones have left us behind, it is that they are preparing our destination for our eventual arrival. I really enjoyed the way this came across.
This was an excellent piece! It describes a unique, American cultural phenomenon. To the rest of the world, this materialistic, consumer chaos probably seems like an advertising gimmick, but as the author has pointed out, the Black Friday madness has actually developed into type of psychological illness which can become a full blown obsession. He has captured the genesis of the phenomenon back in the 1980's. It survives to this day as an event which involves groups, usually family or friends, who "hunt" together, with the same zeal of ancient cultures who depended on good hunters for the group's survival. Thank you to the author for a memorable story and a peek inside the madness of pop culture.
I liked the concept, but I was really impressed by the second stanza. I read it, and immediately felt the need to read it a second time. It seems to suddenly jump up and confront the reader the way that reality suddenly jumps up and confronts a young person facing the end of childhood. More than just that, it could just as easily be a statement to anyone of any age, to capture the moment.
Thank you for sharing this.
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