You really showed some talent with this piece. However, I didn't understand why this poem is listed under friendship. You might try to find some way to better explain. I thought it was a very good poem. I liked how you made it sound a little eerie and mysterious (if that's what you were going for don't listen to my previous suggestion). I don't think you should confine your descriptions to Colorado alone. You could say that it's about a summer night. Great job.
I really like this short story. You used some great descriptions. On the other hand, usually, on your first day at a new school, a lot less happens. You don't start going out with the football star right away. You spend time developing your characters, and if your main character was raped, you might spend a few minutes on that. Rape is not an easy subject. The whole heart disease thing was just kind of sprung on Sophie. Explain more.
Wow. This was a pretty powerful poem. I guess it's a little message to all us teenagers out there. When your parents go out, don't be fount out.It's a good thing that was just a dream. But seriously, this is a poem that will affect teens, it can show us why we should actually follow the rules our parents set for us. You never know if you might get caught. Plus you may hurt yourself more than anyone else. Good job.
I think that this is very true of many girls. I know that often times I feel as if no one else really knows who I am. I am thirteen and many of my friend and I feel like we are never noticed by other people. We are invisible. Ignored. Walls. Nobody notices the unpopular girls.
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