I feel like this is a cliff hanger, I would like to know what happens next to the pharaoh & why he's feeling so glum.
Also correct the Capitol A in the word candy. Tag me to your finish piece I would like to read it! Keep going, don't quit.
I feel that with you expressing your version of a perfect world, you are sharing your regrets. I personally thank you for being honest in sharing that however don't be quick to count yourself out, you can still make changes a little at a time, after all... Rome wasn't built in a day ; )
I can relate, this is why I started to write again. I feel like sometimes the only way my voice is heard is when my words are read. Keep writing, you'll start to feel better. I love how you nailed how it feels like you have 2 sides that are trying to separate but they are stuck because I get it! Don't quit, keep writing, I look forward to reading more from you.
I appreciate that you have taken to writing to express yourself, I like how you made the transition from "a fractured dream " to "A whisper of hope" because while "I " as the reader can understand that somehow that fractured dream may have been a dark & uncomfortable place, "I" also see gathered that you are not ok with staying in that place & so you applied the contrast & contradiction method, which in this case inspires "me" as a reader, that there is a brighter side as long as you are willing not to give up . Kudos to you tweety-bird218! Keep on keeping it on! :)
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