There isn't much I can say except- beautiful. Just amazing. I didn't notice an grammar mistakes at all. Thank you for sharing. I hope you write more I would love to read it.
I love the title to start. I didn't notice any grammar or punctuation errors, and the characters are described in such a way that the reader gets to know them. I think you have done a fine job naming characters and setting the scene as well. I truly enjoyed reading this story. I feel s though I have read about the same character before though, do you have other writings I may have reviewed? The main character's name stands out to me for some reason. I think I may have missed scene two though, if I read your work previously.That is a good thing when a person reads a lot of stories, and one stands out. Great job! I look forward to reading more of your work.
You have a great story so far. I did notice a few minor grammatical errors, but nothing that takes way from the reading. I hope you are going to be adding to this soon because I look forward to reading more of your work. You used a lot of imagery which keeps people interested and actually helps them finish the story. Thank you for sharing.
I love the creativity of your story. It's always great to see imagination that takes us away from the real world if even for just a moment. I noticed a punctuation error under the line "Introducing the garden dragons", 7th line down I think where should be were? In the main chapter a comma might be needed after "It had been a hard night," Another comma after "compared to her parents,", and after "What a noise I woke up to" might bet better instead of too unless you mean that person woke up also. Your story is a good start for more chapters. You have some punctuation errors, but it doesn't really take away from the imagery you bring. Good job.
You have very encouraging and powerful message in you poem. It is quite easy to decipher the lines in your writing. I love how it is laid out. I also think that people need to know the differences when reading this and not assume that all sins are created equal. This is great piece and I hope others enjoy it as much as I have. Thank you for sharing.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lynnb86
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 12:33am on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
