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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lydia
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39 Public Reviews Given
113 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Green T-Shirt  Open in new Window.
Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Quite nice. Seems biographical the way you have narrated it. I specially like the way you have used words to create vivid images.
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Review of The Hurri  Open in new Window.
Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice, I really enjoyed reading this. The story has potential to continue, and I do hope that you will continue with it. It's really quite good.
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Review of Just Me And U  Open in new Window.
Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.5)
This needs to be worked on. Please try and spell out words, "ur" is ok in chat, but for fiction writing, you need to work on words.
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Review of Romance  Open in new Window.
Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is so sweet. I love the way your poem is visual. Well done :)
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Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
It's very musical. I like the imagery, can almost visualize what the character is doing (like a music video. I just found the following line in the first stanza a bit out of place: "The cool air burns my face." It slows down the reader. The rest of the piece flows well with a good beat. I hope you have put this to music. It sure has the potential of being a song :)
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Review of The Wishing Well  Open in new Window.
Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is beautiful. I love the way you have written a story in a poem, the imager is also very beautiful. Great job!
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Review of At two  Open in new Window.
Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
It did make me smile. Its a sweet little piece, and I was able to visualize the little one.
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Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey really cute, I was wondering what a tale of bravery this was going to be, and only when I reached the end did I get the full picture. I think now that the story is not up for a contest, you can write a little more and improve on it. The use of the word enemy somehow takes away from the tale. You could try and make it look like the brave Simon was facing a monster of some sort or a giant. You know keep the reader guessing till the end.
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Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
These are some very useful tips. I just wanted to add about the writing ml tags, a reviewer could use specific colors to highlight grammar errors, plot malfunctions etc. This would help the writer know where he/she needs to concentrate.

I've also found it useful when a reviewer tells you how you can improve on a plot. So instead of only saying the plot needs so and so, the reviewer can go ahead and suggest a few ideas. It will help the reviewer also when he/she is writing.

Also many a time when a review is given, the reviewer should make it a point to begin a new point in a new paragraph. This is so that the writer is not attacked by one bulk of text. It really is not encouraging to read such a review.

Well all said and done, I hope more people review the works of the writers here at writing.com, it helps build up the community :)
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Review of Somnambulist  Open in new Window.
Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I dont know how you've done it, but its the dreamstate transformed into a poem. Good work!
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Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi I think you need to write a little more. This seems only like the start of a story.
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Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an interesting system to encourage new writers. It also helps those who review, however, could you also mention some rules on what and how to review. Most of the time its not difficult to write 250 words, but what is a good review and what helps a writer improve his/her work is something that will tell him where s/he needs to improve. If you could just add a few pointers here so that people give a meaningful review it would be helpful to both writers and reviewers.
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Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Arch you are amazing. This story in a first person account is stunning and touching. Keep at it, looks like we have something better than a J.K. Rowling here.
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Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
nicely combined computer language with the idea of friendship. I think you need to polish up the language a bit, but a nice and unusual imagery used here for friendship. Good job!
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Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
this was absolutely entertaining :) good job!
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Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think this really brings out your true feelings. I think you have the scope of making this a longer poem. Good job keep it up.
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Review of Petey, Oh Petey  Open in new Window.
Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I think you could have made this a little longer and it would have created a better impact. The idea is there but it could be better.
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Review of All I Really Want  Open in new Window.
Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I sometimes catch myself thinking all these things. I like the way the last line of each stanza creates an impact after the suppossedly tame lines preceeding the last line. There is just one thing, you have capitalized every word at the start of a line even when most of the words come after a comma.

E.g.
Sometimes I think about insanity, and freedom,
And dreams, and my mind, and if I really have one or not,
And I wonder if this is all a dream I’m having while
Still in my mothers womb, or if I’m merely part of
Someone else’s dream, or if it really matters anyway,
‘Cause all I really want is to understand where I am.

in the above stanza " if I’m merely part of Someone else’s dream," I think it should read as one sentence yet someone appears capitalized. I might be wrong you may have deliberately capitalized these words but I just thought I'd mention it to you.

A very thought provoking piece. Good job.
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Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Interesting please do continue with this story. I haven't read a thriller in quite a while, and I would love to read the rest of this story.
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Review by Lydia Davidson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
A very well written piece and I agree with you all the way. People often forget that the theory of evolution is a theory, even when they call it a theory. They think that it is a fact already proved by science. My one question has always been that if this theory is true then how come we are not still evolving, why has evolution suddenly stopped? But then there will always be those who continue to believe in this theory simply because it is easier to do so.
Anyway, this was a good article, and I liked it.
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