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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/luxumbra
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Review by EyesOfDarkShine Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I was very intrigued by the subt;e addition fo details such as the main charater's lineage. Also, the non omnicient view of the story gives a very invigorating look to the combat as details taht the main character misses initially are also missed by the reader. I would only suggest that some details such as the character's attire be conveyed without the surprise inclusion, as when he was hit noting that his armor was light chain. This change would only be useful in the setting or main character's situation going into the confrontation as he would have known already what he wore. However, your presentation was excellent, and if you see no need for change then by all means, wonderful. I hope there is more of this to come, as it was very enjoyable and well layed out.
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/luxumbra