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Review of Family First  Open in new Window.
Review by Elizabeth May Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Taylor, your story was cute, but I was having a hard time trying to understand where you were going with it. Your character needs a little more depth and your story needs a lot more description. Rather than telling your story in a "this happened and then this happened" format try showing what happened. And use more descriptive words and actions to show her emotions. I got that "Ana" wanted to be left alone, but the story doesn't exactly say what she was feeling.


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