Hey, i think this is a great start. you obviously have very clear images in mind and are very heartfelt however, the flow of a rhyming poem tends to benefit from consistency. though you rhyme throughout the piece the actual scheme is a little disorganized and, i feel, interrupts the flow of the poem, leaving the reader a little lost and perhaps, unsatisfied. also, what is scared to the tear?? that said, the images of hands lying together is a powerful image. keep up the good work!
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