I would definitely enjoy reading more of this. The main character pulls me in and makes me want to know more about her and how she wound up on this crusade? Was she a victim perhaps? Her sister? I want to know!
Overall this is very good writing. I would go back through and look at the verb agreements a few places don't match, such as She is sitting/ Her face was smeared.
Keep it up!
Overall great imagery! I love the line about the static in the looking glass!
A few clarifications:
Jaded<- is this something about this that you are trying to draw attention to?
and feel like a man<- could use a question mark.
I still can't get over the static in the looking glass comment. It's brilliant. I can see the false prince charming wlaking away. Great poem!
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