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Great rhythm and rhyme
I noticed, that, two times you begin a verse with "And". I, personally try to avoid starting a sentence with "And". Don't ask me why it just doesn't feel right!! :-S
This poem shows emotion and feeling!!
Overall: Great poem with emotion and a feeling of missed love!
Hey Alex~~~Learning POETRY!!! I really like this poem that has powerful meaning. A meaning a lot of us don't heed. I like your style and the only thing I would do to change it is that after "who don't mind..." (l. 18) put a comma to make "don't matter" more valued.
Nice poem but the rhythm is a bit more broken down then it should be...
If you more specifications on how to improve this poem more e-mail me and i'll gladly do so.
Nice poem. Make the font bigger and the writing style is weird, in my opinion but i've never seen it before so...
Anyway great poem and good job for the book
Write on!!!
Great poem with great rhyme and meter. I think you should enter a contest with this poem you might who knows win!!! One tiny thing though: Your second line should not have been capitalized like the other second lines and the very first line doesn't need a question mark just a colon or coma.
Write on!!!
Great imagery, one thing though to make the poem more abstract change the part with the remote control it brings the reader back from dreamworld!!!!
Keep writing!!
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