I have thoroughly enjoyed entering this contest (and winning on occasion, too ). You're prompts are always thought provoking and sometimes a real challenge. I'm sorry I haven't done the past few rounds... life goes on. But I look forward to getting back in again soon.
On the whole, with the amount of time allowed for each round, the prizes are quite apropos, and your generosity in awarding multiple first and second places, instead of putting yourself into a dither trying to determine only one winner of each place, is amazing. Yet you remain fair in all your grading, rating, and awarding.
I can't wait to see what you do when you hit the one year mark with this contest. And hopefully I'll be back and entering well before then.
First impressions:
- A lonely spirit - whether dead physically or dead spiritually/emotionally - sings lamentations of that which is beyond reach eternally.
Line(s) that caught my eye:
The door is locked,
And will forever be to my touch.
- The idea that a ghost or a person's soul can be trapped behind a simple door is a scary thought, but it frequently depends on what the door is "made of". These lines nicely describe the poignancy and sorrow of not being able to escape to "beyond".
Style/rhythm/grammar/spelling/etc:
- No problems that I can see in any of these respects.
Contest prompt usage?
- None indicated.
Final thoughts
- Leaving the reader to wonder whether the speaker of the poem is actually dead or "alive but dead inside" is a great touch and adds a lot to the darkness of the poem. Your word choices are well made to convey the depth of sorrow and loss the speaker is feeling. Great job on this poem.
Hoping you have a great week and that being part of this review week adds to that greatness. This is a review of your letter, "Thank-you note to my Muse"
What I like : This is a great exercise that all writer's should take the time to do. Even our muses need encouragement now and again and writing them a Thank You letter is a great way to do that.
What needs help : Nothing that I can see.
Final notes : Hopefully this letter spurred your muse into further action and got you writing even more and more productively. If I got a letter like that I know that would be my response as a muse. Great job!
Hoping you have a great week and that being part of this review week adds to that greatness. This is a review of your folder, "Polls 'n' Stuff"
What I like : A person could spend hours in this folder doing all the polls and the other occasional activity you have in here. From the serious to the surreal, thoughtful to tacky, there is almost no topic that is off limit in this large collection of opinions.
What needs help : Only a request to have more and more current questions posed. Otherwise nothing.
Final notes : I don't usually rate a folder without R&R most if not all of the items contained in it first, but I'd be typing for three days straight or more if I were to R&R all 150+ items in here. Great show of creativity in one lump sum here. Keep up the great work.
Hoping you have a great week and that being part of this review week adds to that greatness. This is a review of your article, "How I Know A Character Will Work"
What I like : All the key parts of what a character should do or be are concisely described in this brief article.
What needs help :A couple of pointers for you to use or not as you will: A character can do is all sorts of things. "Is" is extraneous. Two possible fixes: Either start the sentence with "What"; or delete "is" (recommended). flew threw my head threw should be through In a few of my short stories that I penned, "my" and "I" are redundant. Two possible fixes: change "my" to "the"; or delete "that I penned" (recommended). what the author thinks of life. "about" might be better in place of "of".
Final notes : Great article that includes examples from both personal experience and famous authors to explain the key points you are describing about what a character should do for a story. Very well done.
Hoping you have a great week and that being part of this review week adds to that greatness. This is a review of your folder, "Spirituality"
What I like : This is a great collection of opinion articles covering several important topics.
What needs help : In your folder introduction, you capitalize Reflections and use quote marks around that word which kept me looking for an article with that name. Perhaps you could delete the quotes and uncapitalize it for clarification.
Final notes : I've enjoyed getting to know you through these articles and would recommend all of them to everyone.
Hoping you have a great week and that being part of this review week adds to that greatness. This is a review of your flash fiction short, "You Can Trust Me"
What I like : What a change of pace in this folder. Instead of going light (or at least dim) in tone to dark, this story goes from dim to less dim as far as emotion goes. You really pull the reader's emotion for Sarah's success at the end. And in less words than I'm using for this review.
What needs help : Again, nothing for the story, but removing the link for a now invalid item for appearance sake, is my suggestion.
Final notes : I've almost run out of complements for your stories tonight. Another great job. And a nice way to close out the series of stories in the folder.
Hoping you have a great week and that being part of this review week adds to that greatness. This is a review of your flash fiction short, "Do You Think It Will Fit?"
What I like : Even with so few words to work with, you did a wonderful job in keeping the twist until the very end. I'm impressed.
What needs help : Nothing that I can see in the story. But since the original contest/prompt is no longer a valid item, I'd suggest removing the link for appearances sake.
Final notes : I haven't had the nerve to try a 55 word short yet. I can't even keep a review to less than 55 words. Kudos for succeeding so well with this one.
Hoping you have a great week and that being part of this review week adds to that greatness. This is a review of your flash fiction short, "He's Back"
What I like : "Be careful what you wish (pray) for" takes on a horrific twist in this short tale. No long trail through emotions this time, but the progression of fear to horror to terror is well played here. Kudos.
What needs help : The only thing I would recommend is to start a new paragraph with the sentence that begins She'd woken to find him standing over her. Normally flashbacks should stay (begin) within the paragraph the character thinks about it. But for the sense of heightened tension, I feel having the flashback separated would work great. See what you think.
Hoping you have a great weekend and that being part of this review weekend adds to that greatness. This is a review of your poem, "Lipstick"
What I like : A sensuously beautiful poem. Your word choices throughout are wonderful and vivid. And in such a short work you manage to tell a whole story that covers a whole four decades. Nicely done.
What needs help : Nothing that I can see.
Final notes : I would love to be able to feature this poem in my poetry appendix, "Invalid Item" . What a wonderful couple C and N must be for this kind of dedication to them.
Hoping you have a great weekend and that being part of this review weekend adds to that greatness. This is a review of your article, "How to Write a Query Letter"
What I like : All the do's and don't's on how to write a query letter for just about any type of publication to which you want to submit a piece of writing. Well laid out, easy to read and comprehensive.
What needs help : Nothing that I can see here.
Final notes : Great job with the writing ML to bring attention to key points throughout the article. Another "bookmark me" page found.
Hoping you have a great weekend and that being part of this review weekend adds to that greatness. This is a review of your c-note shop, "From The Cats"
What I like : Your cats are adorable. And they know a good thing when they see it, too. Clever photography in catching them at just the right moment. These (mostly) blank c-notes are great for all occasions.
What needs help : Nothing to much to say here, but a another note or two with words/messages would be a nice addition.
Final notes : Earmarking this page for future use. These cats can't help but bring a smile to people's faces. Hope all is going well in the family. My thoughts and prayers to you, StoryMistress and StoryBaby Jack.
Saying you're wonderful just ain't enough sometimes
Ridiculously we don't think you are here for your own writing as well
Maybe this raid will go miles in sending you
Our love and appreciation, with one stipulation
Don't expect us to go easy on you because of your case color!
So for all you do, this review is for you.
Thank you! You Rock!
Joy,
I had no idea you had this page set up. Or if I did (by you mentioning it in a newsletter) I had forgotten about it. What a cool site! I've got it "favorited" now. Especially since drama has become something of a primary genre for me recently.
I can't say I can see any errors here or have any suggestions for additions.
I look forward to using this page fairly frequently. At least as long as the drama queen in me is active in full force.
Just remember to take time for yourself every now and again to
Write On!
Saying you're wonderful just ain't enough sometimes
Ridiculously we don't think you are here for your own writing as well
Maybe this raid will go miles in sending you
Our love and appreciation, with one stipulation
Don't expect us to go easy on you because of your case color!
So for all you do, this review is for you.
Thank you! You Rock!
Great visualizations in this poem. The centering even adds to the effect of the battle with the uneven lines forming either the clouds they fight in or their own tails of smoke weaving and spinning around each other. Very nice touch.
I realize the word 'circle' is a tough one to rhyme, but the choice you made to go with it seems to be too soft and not consistent with any of the other rhymes. I did a little research in a rhyming dictionary. What about possibly replacing "whirl" with "don't truckle", meaning not surrendering or submitting? Just a thought to truckle to or not as you choose.
Other than that, all the other rhymes - hard and soft - work wonderfully. Thanks for taking me on a wild ride against the Red Baron.
Just remember to take time for yourself every now and again to
Write On!
Saying you're wonderful just ain't enough sometimes
Ridiculously we don't think you are here for your own writing as well
Maybe this raid will go miles in sending you
Our love and appreciation, with one stipulation
Don't expect us to go easy on you because of your case color!
So for all you do, this review is for you.
Thank you! You Rock!
I can practically see the seed sprout, take root, and grow in this diamante. Each of the sixteen words makes a logical progression and clearly paints a picture in the mind of the reader. And the touch of color works wonderfully, too.
I have no suggestions for you on this.
Bravo.
Just remember to take time for yourself every now and again to
Write On!
Saying you're wonderful just ain't enough sometimes
Ridiculously we don't think you are here for your own writing as well
Maybe this raid will go miles in sending you
Our love and appreciation, with one stipulation
Don't expect us to go easy on you because of your case color!
So for all you do, this review is for you.
Thank you! You Rock!
Double Acrostics are most assuredly one of the more difficult forms of the acrostic poem to do. It is a format I've not yet dared to attempt. And you had 5 vowels to contend with?! Great job in getting it to all work out!
The only thing I would recommend (and it won't ruin your double) would be to make "Oh la" into "Ooh la". Either way works though.
Great job on this. My liking very much!
Just remember to take time for yourself every now and again to
Write On!
Saying you're wonderful just ain't enough sometimes
Ridiculously we don't think you are here for your own writing as well
Maybe this raid will go miles in sending you
Our love and appreciation, with one stipulation
Don't expect us to go easy on you because of your case color!
So for all you do, this review is for you.
Thank you! You Rock!
I've seen such memorials frequently and I agree with you. Not only is the attention directed in the wrong direction, but it can also cause additional hazards and someone else may even get hurt or killed in the same place. If the streets in your part of New Jersey are anything like I remember in Sewell, there's not a lot of spare roadside road for such a memorial to be safely constructed. In my own paraphrase of your closing words: Remember me to your own memory.
One suggestion, if I may: and add a piece of their own memento. Those three words seem extraneous.
A powerful piece to make one think. Well done!
Just remember to take time for yourself every now and again to
Write On!
Consideration level of the question posed
- A rather... um... vanilla proposition, basic, but complete.
Completeness/variety of answer options
- Limited but with an "opt out" option to allow for other choices.
Result of the results
- Only 12 votes so far, but for this crowd, the leader right now isn't surprising me.
Final thoughts
- The only other option you might want to consider is vanilla/chocolate swirl (for those who like to use the self-serve soft-serve machines in some buffet restaurants). Good luck with this poll. I'll be interested is seeing how things progress as more votes come in.
Consideration level of the question posed
- Interesting proposition. But since this is the original "Survivor" (after a fashion) it makes for a fun premise. Wasn't there a cable reality game that went along this idea a couple years back?
Completeness/variety of answer options
- While I wouldn't expect them to be top vote getters, your poll is missing two characters: Ginger (the movie star) and Mrs. Lovey Howell.
Result of the results
- No surprise for 1st, 3rd, and 5th place in my opinion, but I would have thought 2nd and 4th would have been the other way around.
Final thoughts
- Aside from the missing cast members, this was a fun poll. A great turnout of votes for a poll almost 6 years old.
First impressions:
- "If you always tell the truth, you'll never have to remember which lie you told to whom." The old adage still holds true and you have portrayed that well in this poem as one who was lied to secretly reveals her thoughts and relishes the liar's imminent downfall.
Line(s) that caught my eye:
Lie upon lie, the veneer starts to craze.
The truth in my eyes as upon her you gaze,
- With the accused in the poem living so many lives and lies, being unable to keep them all straight will eventually catch up with him. Great visualization of the realization that such a time has come upon him.
Style/rhythm/grammar/spelling/etc:
- Soft and hard rhymes work well in tandem in this poem.
Please remember the following comments are my observations and suggestions. Feel free to use or ignore them as you see fit for your work.
-I don't see any problems with spelling, but you should check into your punctuation usage. There are many places where either a comma or some other form of thought-within-sentence separation is required. Without the separation, you are left with a lot of phrase parsing. Example: "Flashing your eyes, your come to bed smile,". Here, 'smile' is a tag-on whose meaning is nearly lost without proper punctuation. My recommendation for this would be: 'Flashing your eyes, your come to bed. Smile."
- Be careful in the use only one voice in your poem. The first half seems to be third-person, God-veiw. The second half suddenly flips to third-person, personal (woman in waiting) view. Read the poem aloud and see if it doesn't sound as if two different people are telling it. Try to find some way to more clearly separate the speaker (woman scorned) from the woman in the bed (the next 'victim' of the man's many lies).
- In the line: "the veneer starts to craze." I would suggest changing 'the' to 'your'. This will add greater impact to the accusations cast upon him by the 'Woman Scorned'.
Contest prompt usage?
- None indicated
Final thoughts
- There is great potential here. If you can clear up the "poem's speaker" issue, the effect you seem to aiming for will come through that much stronger. Good job here.
Overall thoughts:
- I always enjoy a good prompt and those listed here are some of the most inventive I've seen in a long time.
What struck me:
- Instead of simply giving a few words or pictures to try and spark one's creativity, there are physical activities involved for the writer to do and use the immediately gained experience to take inspiration from. Using the senses of sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste, the writer not only gets the imagination working, but also learns ways to improve their writing by involving those senses in descriptives in their exercises.
What struck me as odd or off:
- Living in Texas in an apartment that doesn't allow pets, I am unable to partake in a couple of the prompts. But those prompts get me to think of other ways to perhaps take advantage of the prompt (go to a dog park and watch your neighbor's pets, stand in the rain/sunshine). As long as one's creativity is working enough to be able to alter the prompt/exercise to suit their environment, what you have is sufficient to get one writing again.
Contest entry/prompt:
- None indicated.
Final comment(s):
- I realize you will soon have your hands overly full (congratulations again on your enlarging family), but I'm placing this book in my favorites and plan on taking you up on your offer, if it's still open, of notifying you when I write an item based on one of your prompts (or a minor variation of my own).
Consideration level of the question posed
- Simple and plainly stated. No additional information needed to be able to answer question.
Completeness/variety of answer options
- Yep. Covered pretty much everything.
Result of the results
- I'm actually surprised at which answer is in the top spot - and the size of the lead it has - despite the fact that (primarily) writers and readers are answering the question. I was certainly expecting one of the other answers to have the top spot.
Final thoughts
- It took me moment to choose my answer. As with all things that have a long build-up time before the actual event, I nearly opted for it being over as being my favorite part. A fun, informal, and curiously informational poll.
This is a review of your short story, "Gotta Sing"
Overall thoughts:
- I first came by this story rather late one night almost two months ago and tagged it to remind myself to come back and read the story. I must apologize, to myself as much as to you, for the delay in returning. This tale of desire, to cleanse one's self of his past, to find peace for a night, to make right almost forgotten wrongs, touches the core of everyone. And in the end, the reader is as soul-weary of the battle as the main character (the speaker) is as he drives off in the morning looking for a different balm to heal still tender scars.
What struck me:
- Music, nearly as much as the sense of smell, is a major memory key for many people. Your weaving of music and dream and memory and myth/legend is masterful. It is hard to tell where one ends and another begins. And in the overall flow of the story it all makes perfect sense bringing to the reader the same sense of wonder and longing as the speaker experiences. As I said, Masterful.
What struck me as odd or off:
- I'll admit it - I skipped over a few paragraphs I thought I recognized having read the first time I came through. It seems I didn't remember them as well as I thought I did. Going from the conversation with the innkeeper to the Lark room and suddenly hearing the speaker complain about music was disconcerting without remembering any previous reference to the loud music he is complaining of. So that fault is mine, not yours.
- A reference by Clyde about the speaker being a "Yank" makes me believe that he (the speaker) is from America, yet later in the room he calls the television a telly. Maybe he is a regular tourist to England and has picked up on the variations of 'the Queen's English', but it jerked me up short as very, very few Americans would call a television a 'telly', they would say 'TV'. Clarification on this point or the speaker's choice of word would remove the jolt to the reader.
Contest entry/prompt:
- None indicated.
Final comment(s):
- As you may remember, Max, I am compiling an appendix of GLBT supportive articles in "Invalid Item" . "Gotta Sing" makes the second gay fiction story I've read today that I feel needs to be highlighted as much as the other pieces I've gathered so far. I would like to include this as such a piece when I actually begin the new collection. BTW, congrats on the awardicon on this story. It is very well deserved.
Consideration level of the question posed
- Simple and clearly understandable without a lot of unnecessary information
Completeness/variety of answer options
- Fairly complete with the regular cast featured plus an 'unnamed' space for semi-regular characters (example: Nurse Chapel) that aren't listed. You might want to consider including a note such as (email me with character name) on that last line -- but only if you are really interested.
Result of the results
- Only six votes so far, and the only surprise is where Captain Kirk is in the running so far.
Final thoughts
- Hoping this public review brings more people in to vote. I'd like to see what results a larger sampling brings. Are you planning, or do you have polls for any of the other Star Trek shows (TNG, DS9, VOY, ENT)?
The Lilibonelle poem format is an interesting one and a nice change of pace from most of the poetry I write and read. I may have to try this one sometime.
You have some beautiful imagery here. The repetition of the lines of the first stanza in the remainder of the poem and the additional descriptions used thereafter made the scene you were painting unfold in my mind like a flower opening its petals to great the morning sun. Wonderful job here. Simply wonderful.
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). You're prompts are always thought provoking and sometimes a real challenge. I'm sorry I haven't done the past few rounds... life goes on. But I look forward to getting back in again soon.
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:
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Kudos for succeeding so well with this one.
Great job.
, with one stipulation
Thank you! You Rock!
