you have a way of using your words to flow really smothly but at the same time make the reader really think about what you are saying with your witing.. i think this is an excilent peice but it could do with a little bit of editing.
Fav part: The helping hand you felt on the shoulder,
The crushing blow, rolls down like a boulder.
The looks that you throw and the faces you catch,
Your head and your heart find that they seldom match.
Fav part: I fight through the tide, but it's started turning,
My heart in my throat and my chest is now burning,
I scan the horizon and finally see,
My future descended, reclaimed by the sea
It flows freely and has a great story line!
Least fav: I immersed myself in in a hope and a prayer,
Waiting for something, I thought I saw there.
I stood on the soapbox, called out to the sky,
A response late in coming, with no reason why.
It seems a little more foced like it could use some sanding on the rough eges.
Great job! and keep writing!!
Lincoln girl
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lincolngirl
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 5:42pm on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
