This is a great poem whith a very powerful message although some of the words are a bit elementary the message got across in your future works I suggest using more vivid word choice this can be accomplished by using a thesaurus I don't know why you are writing this wheat her you or a close friendly relative had to experience the tragedy of war and the immense relief of coming home or if you are only imagining what it could be like i pride you on venturing to write about such a deep topic.
This story is well written it gives a great description of the characters actions and surroundings it also had a very vivid description of the characters emotions and the ending cracked me up I did not see it coming congratulations you almost made me die of laughter
Lol this is a well written hysterical piece of liturature my only criticism which I hope you find constructive rather than insulting is that I noticed the ryne between .com and on sounded slightly off other than that the poem cracked me up and appealed strongly to my writing and food loving sides
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