  Third and Final Review from Lightening Package Auction 
Hooks:
 You requested that I review this folder for your package. I have read both pieces.
 "In My Mother's Memory" is a good title, and specific to your own life and memories.
 The genre is listed at "other," and understanding that this is emotionally a hot spot, it may be difficult to decide, but as time goes on, and you decide the direction for your biography, putting a more specific "type" may help as far a searches go.
Descriptions:
 "Invalid Item"  , is a well written memoir, of a personal tragedy. I like the way you introduced your early geographical movements, including a bit about the States you were in.
A good description of your Mom's personality was given in a way that "shows" in a picture, an important bit about her; "...she lacked...the maturity to be the full-time mother that her boys needed..."
Your characterization of your brothers was well done, and even your own analysis of your personality, weaknesses and strengths are well done. You have packed good descriptions, laying visual markers along the way.
Characters:
 In "Invalid Item" you show a mirroring of compassion from two strong female characters; 1. "Mrs. Leary was the fifth grade teacher at our Elementary School..., and “The class misses you and they are wishing you a fast recovery. They made you some cards,” she said as she picked them out of her purse."
2. Ms. Gena; the housekeeping person who woke you with her singing. "...She looks like Sleeping Beauty except with red hair. You know, God has mighty plans for you two. Yes, he sure does. The Devil tried to get you guys down, but our good Lord saved you both...”
 You were just eleven years old, but show a lot of insight for that age.
Formatting:
 You are talented at making your format easy to read and follow. Considering what a personal tragedy that you have shared, along with obvious recovery, you were able to keep this in chronological order.
 Overall  I have read and enjoyed several of your other works, and have been impressed with your "fiction." They have been good quality. In "Invalid Item" and "Invalid Item" , writing your own experiences, and with people you know, you have captured the descriptions and character traits exceptionally well. I may not know exactly what your Mom and brothers look like, but I am sure they all are red-headed, and your poor brothers come to mind, as rough and tumble characters, who desperately needed a good father's hand; instead your Mother had to try to do it all.
I am touched by these stories. Excellent work.
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| (3.5)
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "
"The piece of cardboard holding it open...", "Light spilled from the 
"Less so" I assume that means she couldn't really hear them well. (?)
I like this story, it is possible this was done for a contest, or under some other constraints such as a prompt, or using a famous quote. The thing is that today, I feel left out of some information regarding the structuring of this wonderful story. 
I am a greedy reader, and I guess I want more. More info, more background, an expanded tale of this short piece. Short stories are the most difficult to write. 
Where the author notices line through phrases or words, is just suggestions. The opinions and ideas expressed here are just that. It is my intention to help other writers. It is not from a place where I think I have arrived as a writer- I have much to learn yet. It is from the place of a reader. As a reader, I am a professional. 
In a team effort to join The WDC Power Reviewers in our January 2016 Raid, I searched for recent items of Young Adult and / or Teen genre. I found this unique piece and was instantly smitten. 
This room belongs to a teenager, no doubt. It was as if the reader is a voyeur, seeing the real of how this kid is managing his space.
vehicle of the story are pictures drawn with words. 
From the excellent descriptions given, we get good information on the main character of "
This is readable. The introduction and setting lure the reader in. 
How can he see his reflection? It is true that this author's vampire has a way of seeing himself in reflection, not all vampires or vampire stories are the same. 
This story has excellent 
This is your story, and I have given you my opinion. Take it or leave it, but I am sticking by the sunlight thing, because it was part of the story. Maybe he doesn't go outside at all, perhaps he donned a sunlight invisibility cloak, but as a nosy reader, I need to know.
Welcome to Writing Dot Com. This is the place writers go, and it is obvious by your first work published here, that you are a writer.
He is rock solid in things like pleasing his family and succeeding, but he goes from not believing in fear to admitting it quickly. 
These are all good components of a story. It is my opinion that they would come together more smoothly by inserting more time into the story. 
The comments are my opinion only. This is your story, and it is good. I think it could be great. Liam is a three dimensional character and I suspect his friends and family are too. 
In the future, this could become something larger like a novella or novel. 
In an effort of teamwork with the WDC Power Reviewers, I searched for a story in the Young Adult genre. 
"I never liked undressing...Grandmas spare room...Elvis stuff, 
The descriptions are bold and lend a creepiness, without telling us what to feel. Then she moves into a somber mood. She remembers. In the past, but here today. The author shows skill with words.
I enjoyed this short story. It is understood that when we write, it is not usually to produce symbolism. When the reader finds these gems it is like dessert after a meal. 
"New World" is under 10KB, with the genre of Sci-fi, Dark and Supernatural. 
B. Agent Roy Bryce kept his natural strength without working out. When he played football in college, he did not lift weights like the other centers. He could take the tackles. 
Please know that this review is not meant to demean the writing. As a reader I can sense a story that is entertaining and frightening - which I love. I like Agent Bryce without knowing much about him. I am curious about what busted out of the crazy, nondescript building with the unknown weird people doing unimaginable things. 
Most of all, this is your work. Your baby. No matter what me or anyone else says, it is yours. Do with it as you please. Write On!.
"Letter To My Dad," is an honest correspondence from the heart and mind. 
I keep reading back over the line, "The cavernous space you have left in our family is one that never decreases..." It makes me think that "Dad" was a man who had certain standards, created in order for him to do the things which he considered important for him to be successful. Not emotional, or demonstrative it left some of the family feeling they could never measure up to his expectations.
Thank you for sharing this intimate and heart-felt letter.
"Love gushed out like a tornado...swishing and whirling...wrecking heart..." To this reader, I am attracted by the science and geological references used within this poem. These are descriptions that I can fathom. 
"...thudding heart, building pressure..." emotions as strong as the work and pull of the universe. A tornado is a vortex, Chaos comes from natural disasters. Movements of the earth during times of geologic upheaval can be likened to the feeling and emotions of a person falling in love. Amazing. Bravo!
The poet completes this short but powerful work of prose with:
Overall:
Kudos to you for getting me to read, like and review poetry. You rock! 
Welcome to Writing dot Com. This seems to be your first item. Thank you for sharing this song that must have come from deep within your emotions. 
The author writes from a deep well of creativity. 
Emotions
This could be me projecting into "Rewind," but there seems to be lines of guilt, sadness and a little hope. 
The title, "Rewind" says so much with six letters. Death is a hard door to beat upon. One of the stages of grief is denial, and personally the final notice we living ones get is the hardest to take. No, there are no more chances. Hopefully, it teaches us to live better and more fully, remembering to leave our loved ones presence with words of appreciation. Guilt is natural, but doesn't do anyone any good. Thank you for sharing this song.
This is a dramatic scene where mother; Melissa is running and searching for her missing child.
This tugs at my heart strings and will not be soon forgotten. 
Why did I read and review "A Journey Home?"
While searching for one of your items to review, I found this short story located in Folder: 
"A small hearth burned cheerfully and piled alongside were what I thought might be bricks of peat. A window, curtained in pristine white curtains, looked out back to a vegetable garden." It paints a picture.
There are many facets to this short story. I think her putting her great-grandmother's ashes "back home" is a touching finale. This work is well crafted writing.
"Fate has been conservative...Mrs. Baker at age 35 is not an attractive woman." 
I imagine a bit of tongue in cheek as the defense rallies further; "She has...piano legs...Her hair is frizzy...already gray" this attorney shows how pitiful Mrs. Baker is until no one will look at her. Although this was a bit brutish, I could not stop laughter from bubbling up at the description of the homely but kind woman on trial for murder.
The Defense: I want to say she, and it is possible I missed clues or possible description of the orator of this entertaining monologue. I would have enjoyed knowing just a bit about this speaker, but it really is not necessary to be a successful work. 
Overall: 
It did not take long for me to find this gem of a parable to read.
I would have liked to see the story of the farmer finding this large nugget expanded. It is obvious that you love the gospel stories. A good story teller paints a picture with words which you have done.
Our team, The WDC Power Reviewers, are Raiding & Reviewing funny stuff. A friend suggested this as a hilarious item to review for the Raid. This poem, written by 
Poetry and comedy are an excellent captioning of "What I Did."
My conclusion is this "manager" was really a secret weapon in training, and only hope that the weapons developed in his intestines are not as toxic when finally disposed of. 
She may add to the cacophony knowing for once she will not get busted and yelled at, rushed from the room. 
All joking aside, "
"...they decided to call her First Woman, for she was the first human they had ever seen." 
"If we bring this dirt to the top of turtle's shell, 
"...she threw up her hands in joy. The seeds and roots that had been in her hands from the hole went flying through the air...new trees and plants, grew in their place."
It has been a long time since you have visited this story, and it would thrill me if you did come back and used video technology to tell this story orally on WDC. Several of the authors are doing different things, and I ask that you consider this idea. 
The order of the story is done well, and another suggestion I have is to get rid of some of that extra white space, and weave the words just a little closer. If you do convert this to an oral story, please contact me. I will be one of your biggest fans. I would like for my grown children, grands, and great-grandchildren to hear this from a true storyteller. 
Whatever stage we are in this continuing Creation Story, I think it is important to carry on your Grand Mother's tradition as you have been writing, and please carry on the oral tradition as well.
"...whistling sound...it was as if a very large bug had darted past her head...a green shape dart down the street..."
Kat
Disclaimer: I work in our local library, in the Young Adult genre area. Not all people are aware of what a graphic novel is; after sending reluctant readers to that section of Y/A, I often hear the gasp of an adult patron. Graphic can mean many things to different people. The graphic novels to which I refer, are a comic book form of literature. They were very popular from the 1940's through the 1970's, and sadly fell out of use. They are back, and this opens up multiple platforms for children, teen and adult genre writers.
The 4.5 rating is nearly perfect. It is not meant to take away from showing the high quality of this story.
It is Cassie409's one year anniversary, and I looked through your folder to find an item to review. The title of "Life," with the genre and type being "emotional," it made me curious to read. 
You do dialog very well. The conversation stands on it's own, although we didn't hear the whole story, it doesn't matter; the rest of the story can be easily imagined. 
:
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Young Adult Science Fiction is a very crowded arena. There is competition against such authors as James Patterson, Rick Riordan (fantasy/sci-fi), and now the Super Heroes of Marvel and DC in Graphic Novels.
Morphy - We get some great insights to this alien. It can morph or transform into an amazing assortment of objects and has done well to acclimate to the portion of Earth it found itself in.
The genres of dark, horror and scary
The builder, "Nemesis," leaves out to the store, to pick up the fourteen foot molding in his eight foot truck bed.