Hi ! After reading {item:}, I offer you these comments:
Story Strenghts:
This is a well organized story that draws the reader deeper into it with every paragraph. The feeling of loss and sadness grips me as I read. Your descriptions bring a vivid picture to my mind. I'm there, walking along with you, searching.
Suggestions:
I could not improve on profection. Well done!
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
I didn't notice any errors in punctuation, spelling or grammar.
Thank you for sharing your work! This was a sad pleasure to read.
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Reviewed by: SilverQuill
A Member of The Coffee Shop For The Fantasy Society
A SilverQuill, WDC Power Review. This is a review of ladygrace's poem, "The Touch of God"
I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader and lover of words.
I enjoyed your poem very much.
Your ending: What can prayers do to you and to me?
Miracles happen---be blessed, be comforted,be healed,
Be forgiven, be delivered, and be saved---
With the touch of God in our prayers.
is a wonderful reminder to us all that God is our answer to everything.
Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Write On!
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Sincerely,
SilverQuill AKA: VGray
Author of The Silver Dragon, Hepatitis Awareness Poetry
Hello ! Here's one of the reviews from the Power Review Shop!
A SilverQuill, WDC Power Review. This review of Lord MattAB17- CSFS Leader‘s
Short story, Trick or Treat was requested by the Power Review Shop. Congratulations!
I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader and lover
of words.
I was drawn into your story from the beginning and carried along to the end with no hope of removing my eyes from the page. Your descriptions brought your characters and scenes to life. Well Done!
I didn't notice any errors in spelling or punctuation.
Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Write On!
Sincerely, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
VGray
Author of The Silver Dragon, Hepatitis Awareness Poetry
Hello ! Here's one of the reviews from the Power Review Shop!
A SilverQuill, WDC Power Review. This review of MarkLewis‘ poem, THE LABORS OF HERCU-pigwas listed on the Lightening List. Congratulations!
I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader and lover
of words.
Ha, ha, ha! This is funny. I enjoyed the story as much as the rhyme. I'm glad the pig survived the ordeal of losing weight. It sounds like it was an interesting journey. The poem should go into a children's book, in my opinion.
I didn't notice any errors in punctuation or spelling.
Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Write On!
Sincerely, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
VGray
Author of The Silver Dragon, Hepatitis Awareness Poetry
Hello ! Here's one of the reviews from the Power Review Shop!
A SilverQuill, WDC Power Review. This review of JesusLovinGal‘s poem, Two Sides was listed on the Lightening List. Congratulations!
I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader and lover
of words.
Your poem tells me it's time to walk away and find a better love but your confusion and uncertainty keep you from doing so. Will he become a more caring man? I think not. He lives to control.
I found no errors in your grammar or punctuation.
Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Write On!
Sincerely, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
VGray
Author of The Silver Dragon, Hepatitis Awareness Poetry
Hello ! Here's one of the reviews from the Power Review Shop!
A SilverQuill, WDC Power Review. This review of flyingnell ‘s Short story, Marriage Proposal by Omission was listed on the Lightening List. Congratulations!
I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader and lover
of words.
I think the canoe trip was to find out how tough you are. You must have passed when you went back for more. Ha!
This is a well written piece that I enjoyed reading. My daughter was born in Warner Robins. I have fond memories there.
I didn't notice any errors in punctuation or spellinng.
Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Write On!
Sincerely, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
VGray
Author of The Silver Dragon, Hepatitis Awareness Poetry
Hello! Here's one of the reviews from the Power Review Shop!
A SilverQuill, WDC Power Review. This review of Were-Wolf Ranger‘s Short story, The Angry Angels was listed on the Lightening List. Congratulations!
I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader and lover
of words.
I've seen that commercial. You have used it well as a writing prompt. Great Work! I enjoyed your story very much. It was told in logica order and carried me along.
I feel that you could combine some thoughts and cut out some unnecessary words. For example, in your first paragraph,
Mr. Edwards paced in front of his phone. He wasn’t a very patient man, but now he found himself waiting for the call that would decide what happened in his life. It would tell him if he has a job or not. The phone rang just as his wife told him to sit down and eat his dinner. “Mr. Edwards,” said a man with a raspy voice. “We have a small problem with the job that you wanted. We have narrowed it down to you and one other person. We would like you to come down for a second interview.” 100 words
Mr. Edwards paced in front of his phone. (An impatient) man, he found himself waiting for the call that would decide what happened in his life. It would tell him if he has a job or not. The phone rang just as his wife told him to sit down and eat his dinner. “Mr. Edwards,” said a man with a raspy voice. “We have narrowed (our decision) down to you and one other person. We would like you to come down for a second interview.” 85 words
Cutting unnecessary words is something an publisher will look for in a piece presented for publishing.
I didn't notice any errors in spelling or punctuation.
Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Write On!
Sincerely, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
VGray
Author of The Silver Dragon, Hepatitis Awareness Poetry
A SilverQuill WDC Power Review. This review of W.D.Wilcox's story, The Voice is listed in the Raid List for today.
I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader and lover of words.
I enjoyed this story. I was drawn in from the beginning and carried along as it unfolded and the ending was totally unexpected. My favorite kind of ending.
I didn't notice any errors in spelling or punctuation.
Thank you for sharing this story, it was a pleasure to read. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
Write on!
Sincerely, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
VGray
Author of The Silver Dragon, Hepatitis Awareness Poetry
A SilverQuill, WDC Power Review. This review of wildbill's story, Dancing Eagle Feathers, was on the Power Raid list.
I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader and lover of words.
I enjoyed your well-told story within a story. I was drawn in as I read and could feel the tension, sorrow and regret within your words.
I was a little thrown off at the transition from the scene in the hospital to the memories of the dying man, but I recovered and was drawn into the story. I felt the transition from the memories of the dying man back to the hospital room was smoother.
I did not notice any errors in spelling or punctuation.
I enjoyed this story very much. Thank you for sharing it. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
Write on!
Sincerely, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
VGray
Author of The Silver Dragonl, Hepatitis Awareness Poetry
A SilverQuill WDC Power Review. This review of niki's, story, See Me was requested.
I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader and lover of words.
I see you and I care!
I enjoyed and identify with your short work.
Sometimes our best beginnings are hidden inside our work. I think your second sentence fits that bill. Then, if you combine your thoughts and cut out unnecessary words, you will uncover a very good story. I've used part of your first paragraph as an example of my meaning.
they say that our eyes our the window to our soul. . everyday people pass me by and i think "oh how lucky you are, no pain in your soul, not nightmares to fear, when was the last time you really cried?"……
Pay attention to capital letters in the beginnings of sentences and wrong words (our instead of are), examples of my meaning.
I think you have potential and I urge you to continue to write.
Thank you for sharing this piece. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Sincerely, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
VGray
Author of The Silver Dragon, Hepatitis Awareness Poetry
A SilverQuill WDC Power Review. This review of Roxi Flash's story, Happy Birthday Katty, was requested.
I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader and lover of words.
It sounds like your parents got creative in giving your party. I enjoyed reading about it. There were no mechanical errors or misspellings or punctiation errors that jumped out at me. However, your piece does tend to be a bit wordy.
If you combine some thoughts and take out unnecessary words, your piece will flow better for your reader. I've taken your first paragraph as an example of my meaning. I cut your word count from 62 to 39 words without changing your meaning.
My parents planned the craziest birthday party ever. Everyone, even the dog was forced to wear a party hat and the guests were the most nerdy people in the world because my parents thought they were a "good influence".
Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
Sincerely, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
VGray
Author of The Silver Dragon, Hepatitis Awareness Poetry
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