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83 Public Reviews Given
83 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
It was very realistic. The set-up was good. I followed the storyline easily. It was well-written and had a good ending.
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Review of Buzz Cut  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
It is an interesting story, but the presentation is confusing. The opening paragraphs are narration, and then you switch to first-person, with a little bit of Matt's voice thrown in.

One of the most difficult things in writing is determining who is telling the story and then sticking with that person or narrator.
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Review of Paradise Found  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your moral is well taken. Paradise will never be found in a bottle. I like the ending.
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Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
The first two paragraphs are too long. I almost did not read the story. The idea of someone borrowing a body is interesting, and I can see how it could be expanded. I could even see how you could make a series out of it. Each body she borrows could make a chapter. You would be able to develop both Julie and her boyfriend/husband.
I would not mind reading some in the future.
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Review of The Book  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
The ending was not what I expected.
Good story and well written.
I liked it.
You might consider shortening the paragraphs. It would read faster.
One suggestion might be to separate the last sentence of each paragraph to add emphasis.
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Review of The Day  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
I would start the story with the second paragraph and then explain why Ray thought something was wrong.
In the end, you need to demonstrate Mom's happiness more than just say she is happier.
Your basic Idea for fanfiction is good.
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Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a poem about honesty and hypocrisy. We see what we expect to see. Each of us has a lens through which we see the world. Your poem is an unusual way to say that.
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Review of Darlene  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Interesting story and well written. You have used good imagination. The characters are well-developed.

One lipstick is spelled wrong.
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Review of Peaceful Handover  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
It was a fun read, and the ending was perfectly understated.

I have one remark: your use of the term "pregnant pause" seems out of place. Also, it is telling, not showing.

You might try "paused to take a deep breath" "eyes darted around the room" or "hesitated searching for the right words."
Happy Writing Patty
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Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Death is always tragic. But funerals are usually fun, as people share happy memories. This was told in a way that made me think it might have actually happened.
I did have trouble following the story at the beginning. I was not sure who was telling the story. Four daughters then five daughters etc. I had to go back and read the beginning. I was able to get it after the second reading.
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Review of The Herald  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your descriptions are excellent. Storms are always a bit frightening.
It reminded me of a hurricane I experienced as a child. My father woke me up in the middle of the storm to go outside. The sky was black and the stars sparkled brightly. The night was completely calm. No sound.
Then my father noticed a slight wind in the trees and told us to quickly go back in. The other half of the hurricane shortly hit in all its fury.
Your poem reminded me of that night.
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Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good essay. You make an excellent point. Learning has become more available because of the internet and AI chat bots. Personally I am enjoying many courses available on utube. There is so much knowledge available,we just need to want to learn. WTH AI we can learn at our own pace.
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Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Interesting article. We Americans need to remember our heritage and our freedom which was won by so much sacrifice.
Your story brought my emotions to the forefront. That is a sign of a good essay.
The information about retiring the flag was also helpful.
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Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Interesting read. The family dynamics are typical. I do not know if that makes the best story.
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Review of Party Dress  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
The opening sentence was puzzling. It would have been clearer if you had said DEAD body.
The paragraphs were too long. Stories with long paragraphs are harder to read.
Your characterization of the detective was interesting. He constantly complained about the high brow life style, when he was just as snooty in his way.
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Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
An interesting story.
Too much irrelevant information in the beginning. No need to know it was a catholic school etc.
The dialog is also irrelevant. No need to say “hello” etc.
The end was good but the beginning was slow. You can lose your reader too easily.
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Review of Feudal Cathedral  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Interesting wording. By the picture I believe you are talking about building. But your poem could be applied to organized religion in general. A sad commentary at
Well written poem.
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Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good story and well written. I am often surprised how children will stay loyal to a friend even when they are mean. Having a friend is so important.
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Review of Tomorrow  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Short but with a good message. We all must remember to seize the day. Too often we take the lazy way and just go with the flow,follow the crowd. When it is really up to us to make things happen.
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Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
The story was well written. It kept my interest. The story moved along quickly.
I wondered why you did not end it with who or what was at the door.
I thought it might be her husband who had forgot his keys.
However I guess your ending makes the story more spooky.
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Review of Sharing is Caring  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
A cute story. You used many visual phases.
The end was good and the story was well written.
I wonder how well you did in the contest.

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Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very informative, and written in language I could understand. I am amazed at the advancements in AI. You helped me understand some of what these advancements are.
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Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
An interesting twist on an old story.I enjoyed the tale. Especially the ending.
Jimmy’s questions at the beginning sounded like something a child might ask.
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Review of Soliloquy  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I too enjoy spending time in reflection. Your words resonated with me.
The purpose of poetry is to bring about a specific emotion.
As I read your poem, I felt the peace I get when pondering the questions of life.
Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed the words and thoughts of your poem.
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Review of Kiley's Story  Open in new Window.
Review by lightmasters Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Interesting perspective. Cats have such interesting personalities.Like Kiley they are usually very proud of themselves.
I think it would read better if some of the long paragraphs were separated. Into shorter paragraphs.
I have several cats myself,so I could relate.
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