Check to make sure that you're using the word you intended to: imaginable, not unimaginable, or threw instead of through, etc. It distracts the reader from your story.
I like that you saved Bella from the absurdity of throwing herself off the cliff. Why didn't she do it?
I also like that Edward came back of his own accord, instead of being dragged back by Alice. Why did he do it?
You've created an interesting scenario, give it a little more explanation.
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