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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lastchancer13
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Review of War of the Sunset  Open in new Window.
Review by lastchancer13 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I liked the overall tone of the piece. Is this an intro to something longer? If so, it'd be nice if you expounded on some of the roles you discuss, like Founder or Advisor. You could put more foreshadowing in there about Jordan's breakdown. We know he's got emotional problems with killing Rots, but something to suggest he's more emotionally unbalanced than we might think would probably help with that transition. Overall I liked it.
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