You have a really good story here with very few problems. I'll give you my opinion on the three things I look for in a story.
1. Grammar: You have no grammar mistakes as far as I can tell. It is very good.
2. Spelling and punctuation: you have a few mistakes here like: stock is supposed to be stuck and realize is meant to be realize. You can limit these mistakes by reading the story out loud. You will catch any mistakes.
3. Emotional Quality: Your story has a mixture of emotions. It isn't scattered, but actually helps the story. It was a bit Romantic themed. A problem I found was that you never really said they were going out, and there is a lot the audience doesn't know about their relationship. Later, I inferred it was a romantic relationship.
Other than few minor mistake the story itself is very good and I look forward to reading part 2!
Wow. This is a powerful poem. I know you made it a while ago, and if you ever did have a mistake it's probably already corrected, but I'll ofer you what I like to call a compliment sandwhich.
This poem is very good and I'd like to see more of your work because you seem very experienced. It really is good and slightly relatable to some. I enjoy good poetry and would recommend it to others because I really like it.
I really can't tell you that this poem has anything wrong with it. I am not strang in grammar or punctuation that seems okay. Nothing outside of that is wrong either.
And on a final note I'd like to thank you for sharing the poem to the public it's very, very good.
Write on!
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