My Grandmother would buy my sister and I a tree ornament every Christmas right up until she died six years ago. I put them all on my tree now so she's always with me. For small plastic shapes they provide vivid memories to everyone around them. Sounds like your lovely wife does the same a lovely written piece, full of sentiment. Well done!!
I'm on a one-woman mission to spread positive reviews and encouragement for others to progress with their writing. I have read your post and my comments are below
Though parts of this need a little work (punctuation and the odd word order mainly), I really like the overall theme of this - that out there somewhere, Aliens are debating our existence just like we debate theirs. It's definitely something worth continuing with, and developing into a bigger picture.
There are a lot of directions that you can take this depending on your writing style, but it's got the bare bones of something good - keep going!!
This is a dark poem but it has a great theme - the way that towns everywhere are being ravaged by something - be it the economic crisis, war, natural disasters etc. The emotional pull of the place you grow up, it stays with you long into adult-hood, and this is something that as a writer you have captured beautifully.
If I were to critique anything, it would just be to keep an eye on the general flow of the poem (poetry is objective, this is just my opinion, I know others will disagree). There were a few lines that I had to re-read to find the word flow again.
But the poem itself paints an incredible mental picture, and that is a skill that cannot be taught. You should be really pleased with this, it's a great piece.
Keep Writing!! x
I have a friend who had a very premature baby boy, and he has come on in leaps and bounds since his birth. A touching poem about a kind of strength most parents will never even know they possess. Your little girl is very lucky! And this Poem is a lovely testament to her.
If I had any comments (and this is just a general thing) is to separate your stanzas so that the read flows a little more (that is purely the way I read it in my head, someone else may read it differently!)
Either way, it's a wonderfully touching poem, and I'm so glad it worked out for the best
This is a lovely Poem, Jen, really heartfelt about finding a place you fit in creatively.
Hopefully I will be able to share this sentiment soon enough!
Whatever you do, keep writing! It's a part of who you are x
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