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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ladynightowl
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9 Public Reviews Given
14 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of THE LEGACY  
Review by J. Rose
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is really good! You are a very talented individual and it is a pleasure to have 'stumbled' across you.

I only spotted one microscopic error:

“This is how it happened”. He held up my manuscript"

The period should be before the quotation, I think.

Take care and write on! I'll be checking out more of your brilliant creations in the future. *Smile*
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Review by J. Rose
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I think this one is my favorite part of all (I actually read this one as well as the third last night) although I stand by what I said about the first two - this is a great story! (e:bigsmile}

It was sad that Rebecca sacrificed so much for her family, and they aren't even interested in finding out what really happened. The way you have written it makes me feel as though their reaction is understandable, given what their father taught them and the last memory they have of Rebecca.

I'm happy to see that at least one of Rebecca's sisters is willing to listen and help. She was a pleasant surprise.

I can't wait to find out what happens to all of them.

Keep it coming!
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Review by J. Rose
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
What was most interesting:

Rebecca's claim that she loved the tentacled beast in the basement. For an instant, an image of Bellum - a villain from The Legend of Zelda, Phantom Hourglass game came to mind when I read the description of the creature. That was an unexpected twist!

Overall:

I like this part as much as I liked the first and I'll be reading III & IV very soon! You have a great imagination!

Write on! *Thumbsup*

*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*

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Review by J. Rose
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
What was most interesting:

That diary! I can't wait to read the other parts to find out the secrets.

Overall:

I've got chills down my spine! The story is very rich in detail - I felt like I was there, seeing what Melissa saw, holding the wriggling puppy. I could almost feel the rain drenching me. I could imagine Melissa's heart hammering in her chest as she watched that ghost glide down the stairs.

I didn't spot any spelling errors either.

I love a good witch/ghost story. Keep writing!

*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*
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