I feel like this too. The difference for me is that I am scared to live. My experience has been overtime I wake up I get mentally, emotionally or physically beat up. I to want to live a life I love and love the life I live. Instead I feel trapped inside trying to save them and me.
As a reviewer, I can honestly say that the appreciation for life and the zeal that comes with it is very pronounced here. It is refreshing to read simple pros with a positive out look and an great up tempo. Please continue to share your views in your work!
Intresting my perspective would have been maybe my gift was inside of me all this time. Since you had to go into the temple 'self' that looked like everyone had one. There was only one way into the temple and it had a granite table in the center. The box to me would have represented the center of my mind and the table representing the entire mind. The light perhaps could have been thought manifest form. Just my opinion.
Nice vision. Mota~
This was a very descriptive read I like how the author took the time to build anticipation while refraining from redundancy.
I like the suspense of the plot. I as the reader could not tell what was next yet, I was gently pulled in to keep reading. The ending was very unexpected and made me reflect on my own personal thoughts. My personal thought was that people tend to be more forgiving when they have reason to trust the goodness in others. I mean hay, in California they elected an actor with no previous political experience as state governor.
In your opening sentence it says: "The title of this piece is thank you for leaving me. While your closing sentence says "Until we meet again, I just wanted to let you know I left you because I loved you." This is not consistent with the title. The body seems to have a lot of open ended statements such as "Better, find a festival for illuminating the roof of your land in which beware to teach direction to any of its flames! (Because flames, smoke and soot like many other examples are simply not meant to dwell together, under a one roof home.)" Does this statement mean that fires spread? Or could you the writer be saying that you can not tell fire which way to burn, or playing with fire YOU might get burned? What does the statement mean "Don’t get moved away in this estate of boozing; remember, that you have been given the grains after the granary wherein your producer wants you to store a portion of your harvest that you never sell for never purchasing it." Is this in reference to the lord you are speaking of? You write "I am paining my soul in unrest as each dusk falls by, in a hope of getting it palliated by you, some day. Life could have been wonderful had it been for your warm embrace…Nevertheless, you left me beautifully. Thank you." This almost seems as if the author is asking for pardon for an offense committed because their was no warm embrace. This comes across as blaming a spouse for conceiving when it took two to conceive; and now the spouse is being held accountable for the birth defect of a child. Lastly it was written by the author "I am succeeding slowly because I want you to stop me." What exactly is the author conveying to the readers in this statement? THank you for sharing your piece,
Mota~
This inspires me. I am very fond of the craftsmanship work of the people of India. While that country does have so many different social and economic issues playing a huge part in how well children there develop. They also have some of the most resilient mothers who find a way against the odds. I have watched a few documentaries on life in India and how a lot of people work in the recycling business. With no proper equipment the men encourage and ghost maturity toward on another to et through the task of sorting garbage. While the women work hard just to send their children to private schools so that they will have a better chance at success in life. After reading your story I want to know how can I help? Honestly my life may not be far off from the life of the people you described, how ever I think how can I make someone smile and feel good about myself?
She patiently waited for the return of the sun. It promised to come back as soon as it rose to new heights. Everyday it would shine, but never to return again. Yet always singing a song met for her heart and ears, hold on and don't let go. At that she did, even to her and their demise.... Once it finally decided to return it was not the same. It was incapable of the gentle warm rays it once left soft upon her skin as the dawn kissed the sky line. It was incapable of protecting her and allowing her to rest knowing that all would be all right. It was replaced by something different something that lived to dwell in the darkest conners and whisper secrets into the ears and hearts of the vulnerable leaving them to squirm and fight for what little breath is left until they eventually give in and die. Yes, I understand how the charter you are writing about fells. This is what happens when that hope you held on to with every fiber of you're being turned out to be a marriage that took all that your being brought into existence.
I like this and have felt like this often. I just keep my heart open sometimes hoping they will peak in. But in my case it is probably best not to tell them how I feel.
Wow very interesting. The story was great. It held my attention the entire way through. I liked how Even's charter still had all the questions that people in everyday life at some point ask. It made his charter feel alive even as the charter was dead.
I have had these same feelings and when I feel like this I tell myself I have no right to feel this way. I tell myself that this is me having a pity party and how many times have I caused someone else to feel this way. Then I sulk for a while pull my coat tail and get up. However that is me. As for you sorry this is how you feel if these words are true.
Okay I wasn't going to commenting any of the posts. Sometimes I just read for inspiration or amusement. I was really into this piece trying to imagine how you the writer are feeling inside. Then the ending threw me for a loop and into hysterical laughter! I of course always trying to see the optimistic side of things while doing my best to stay logical, made up the story that your s***s came from you having the flu or something. I didn't want to think to far into it. The ending was vanguard! Totally funny and a definite surprise compared to the beginning. I also can appreciate how you tied them into to each other by calling them both evil.
Wow how moving. My mind makes pictures of words. This read like the introduction to a movie or the outro of a final scene. The last line was paralyzing thought provoking and moving all at once.
I am sorry for your pain and lack of closure. I know what it is like to not have closure. For me I just wanted my mother to love me and except me as I was without judging me or scaring me when I didn't live up to her standards. I also wanted to know I was safe with her, my mother had a way of passing on abuse in a passive way. She was what they call passive aggressive, but I still very much love her and miss her at times. In short since you are asking, in my humble opinion, yes you should love your mother. She probably did the best she could with what she knew. Besides hate is like taking poison expecting someone else to die. Forgive your mother and anyone else who hurt or disappointed you. You don't have to tell them you forgave them allow it to be a silent process between you and your creator. Then forgive yourself for holding on and defining so much of your life by these hurts. Then just love your self up the best way you can. Make your self love an art that you practice until the day you die. I hope I didn't sound to authoritative.
This is a good look into the heart of unmasking. What I mean by that is this reads like someone who choose to lift the mask that has been masking their vulnerability for just long enough to share their selves. YES, I love the lines did you know I'd be okay? YES, did you know we'd be all right? It sounds like you are talking to the unseen intuition of your grandfather and his some how knowing spirit. The statement I wish I knew how to ask you is powerful, it is as if you truly did in that moment. The next line I regret not finding out how to listen, looks to me like deep rooted ego that blocks the listening is temporally removed and what is priority is put in it's place. The line that describes all of your emotions in one. Your appreciation, admiration, love I am sure he feels perhaps he is even finding a way to make sure while you are here that you get the same feeling and respect too. The humility in the last paragraph is boundless and brings you closer to that which you desire, the key is to not posses. The most impactful sentence in this entire poem is your opening statement. "His words bring me closer, That point where it’s hard to remember, What wisdom sounded like." In this very present moment your grandfather must be proud of you. Keep up the good works,
Mota
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 3:42pm on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
