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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/l.simmons
Review Requests: OFF
17 Public Reviews Given
17 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Pending Request  Open in new Window.
Review by elle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
a cool deifferent way of explaining it. i like it!
-elle.
2
2
Review of Sunrise  Open in new Window.
Review by elle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very well written and so very true.
3
3
Review of False Alarm  Open in new Window.
Review by elle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is so short but so good. Should be a part of lyrics for a song. I'm sure someone does love you!

-elle.:)
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4
Review by elle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
TRUE points.
-this really makes you think about who the truth effects and at some point the truth does come out.
5
5
Review of What I wanted  Open in new Window.
Review by elle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
-Like the fact that the lines are the same and the next has new meaning.
-It flowed well
- Just seems like the rhyming decided your wording..
good poem!

good luck with your writing :)
-elle.
6
6
Review of Infinite Love  Open in new Window.
Review by elle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
-I like the fact that it rhymed without the rhyme completely concuming the poem.
-Really good job of letting emotion shine through without being "mushy" *Heart*
- The one thing i didn't like is that the poem flowed throughout and then at the end the wording threw me.

overall great poem
good luck with your writing :)
-elle.
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7
Review by elle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
The poem shows how one can have everything and have absolutely nothing at the same time. She obviously can get whatever she wants bought for her but she needs people and their sincere love,.
- She seem like a cold person and stuck up but really wants someone to be brave enough to approach her.

Really like this!

good luck with your writing :)
-elle.
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8
Review by elle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
-I like the way the lines all begin the same way but I don't really like the rhyming. Rhyming made me think you were held back.
*Love is like a motion, the movement of swings. : the movement of swings felt pushed to be there to rhyme.

Love is like a circle, a continuous cycle : a continous cycle totally makes sense!

I really enjoyed your poem.

good luck with your writing. :)
-elle.
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9
Review of Not With Me  Open in new Window.
Review by elle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is very relatable. I like how the last line is the same until the end. Really enjoyed this. Short lines but still expressed all it needed to.

Good luck with your writing :)
-elle.
10
10
Review of Pimples, oh my!  Open in new Window.
Review by elle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good imagery!
I can really see the pimple even though it is disgusting!
Maybe find a better word than "yucky"
Very good story!

Good luck with your writing! :)
-elle

P.S. this seems a lot like a propmt I had to write about! (:
11
11
Review by elle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
So you cannot rip it out again –: The heart has been hurt before.


My heart withstood grimace

It stood strong against mistrust

But it finally fell limp with your brutality –: The heart (person) stayed in the relationship and dealt with the pain and hurt as long as possible but the other person finally broke it down.

I buried my heart deep

Because your reach was long – : My favorite part because I felt that "your reach was long" made me feel just how powerful the person that brought the pain was in the situation and the control he/she had was great.

The stucture of the poem was a bit choppy to me maybe could have been changed. A lot of emotion came through and as a reader I could feel the pain. The poem was easy to follow yet left me wanting to go on to the next line.. The poem had an end to it and did not leave me hanging.. The person died after trying to stay in the relationship for so long.
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