Dear HRK,
I like the way you organized the first eight lines of your piece. It was somewhat repetitive, but you used it to your advantage and made it even better. Also, the ambiguity of the piece adds to the whole thing. Well done and keep writing!!!
-Kyra
This was a beautiful poem and very well-written. You managed to get your feelings across successfully, and you painted a loving and beautiful picture with your words. The picture that was included with the poem was a good and helpful addition as well.
This was a funny story! I really enjoyed reading it.
Just a bit of grammar advice, remember after titles such as "Mr." or "Mrs." be sure to put a period at the end.
Other than that, it was very enjoyable. The ending made me laugh because even though the main character didn't change her couch potato ways, she learned to always double check the treadmill program!!
Well done in writing this!
-Kyra
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