Okay. Before you freak out due to the low rating, please read through my entire review. I will list why I gave it such a low rating. :)
 Subject:This is one that I am interested in. I love fantasy-it's my thing. However, I hard a rather difficult time reading this story and allowing myself to sink into it. I do not mean this in any offense whatsoever! I found many similarities in this story to Harry Potter. I know, crazy, it must be due to the fact that I am a huge HP fan. But the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the two people, defeating an important evil wizard, 'Oliver Wands', similar to 'Olivander'...that kinda thing. I have written things that seem similar, and it makes me uncomfortable so I have to change it. I want people reading my work and thinking of my work, not thinking of someone else. :)
I also found this story to be rushed. It was da-duh-da-duh-da...event-event-event, with short fragmented sentences that made it read really choppy and sloppy. It did not really flow-it was like you start to think, "Oh, they are going to get married" then three sentences later the story ends, even if you felt like it just started.
I also felt like "the plan" that he came up with was...lame, to be honest. You spoke of how great and intelligent it was, and I got all excited just to find out the girl froze him and they both drank his blood. BUT...why did the main character have to sneak over and wait till the man's back was turned? His ex-wife could have frozen him anytime. Also, if they both drank the wizards blood, did they both have all of his power? The part of them suddenly hugging and kissing and being in love again did not make sense. You didn't explain that she was having some sort of regrets or something and that they got back together. The reader sees her leaving him, then somehow without explanation, they get back together. But why? I thought she didn't love him anymore. Also, it states that the main character is going to get revenge on Imogen and Bravo because of their marriage. But..he does not get revenge. He conspires with Imogen. So you may want to revise that.
Also, you saw Imogen felt Richard's presence as he walked into the room. Since Bravo's back was turned, I am assuming Imogen's was not. So instead of her "feeling his presence" wouldn't she just see him?
Another thing is that you say Richard had a difficult time convincing Imogen to "do this", regarding the plan. If she really loved him and wanted to be with him, wouldn't she want to do that to be happy with him? Or did her conscience of killing someone get to her? You'll have to explain that, and maybe add in if drinking people's blood kills them or not. Leaves questions that should be answered.
I really think this piece needs more detail and description. Describe the events-don't just say they happened. This is what will draw the reader in. I also noticed MANY grammatical/spelling errors and such. I will list your piece below with the proper corrections. I chose (since it would take far too long) to not add in other suggestions as to how to better the piece. (How to change certain lines with description) but if you request, I may be able to take the time to do so.
Flow: The flow was really choppy. Many short sentences and fragments.
 Tips: I think if you combined many sentences, and lengthened a few, the piece would read much smoother.
Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation: Here is your piece with my suggested corrections for the errors I saw.
Tips: "I am a vampire. My name is Richard. I have a beautiful and a caring wife, Imogen. I am the most powerful vampire I in the world. We have our own world; : we include vampires, wizards, witches, goblins, ogres, dragons and many other creatures you don’t know off.
The story which I am going to tell you is about my wife, a young wizard, and me. The most interesting story you would ever read or listen. This story is about love, hatred, jealousy, power, betrayal, conspiracy and lust.
I was born to a poor vampire family in Lemborstle. At the age of twenty I fell in love with Imogen. She also belonged to a poor family of vampires. I first saw her in the Saladin University for Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was in my section. and we fell in love, and then we decided to abandon further studies and got married. I started to work in Oliver Wands, a shop located in the wizards market. and It was owned by a wizard. I was always jealous of wizards; they were more powerful and rich than vampires.
Imogen and I rented a house in the outskirts of the town and lived there. Imogen was a great wife and a friend. She was loyal, trustworthy and caring. Every week we used to go in the outside world of people and used to drink fresh blood of young human beings. I used to drink blood of young girls because it gave me more power and energy. We had everything- but one thing we did not have, was money. A year passed like this. Then I started to feel that Imogen was going far from me. One day, when I came back to home after work, Imogen was not present in the house home. I quickly ran outside to find here. After searching for one hour in the forest I at last found her [This is awkward. Consider re-phrasing.]. She was leaving me. She said that she was in love with a wizard; she and did not love me anymore. She wanted to marry that wizard. I tried to convince her to come back but she wasn’t in the mood for listening. I was astonished and in a state of shock. I let her go.
After around About two weeks later, I read in the newspaper that Johnny Bravo, the great wizard, has married a vampire named Imogen. I was so depressed and hurt that I decided to take revenge from them [consider revising line]. I had to be careful because Bravo was a powerful wizard. I made a plan; I must say an intelligent one.
One night I went to the house of Johnny Bravo, . I entered the house and I saw Imogen and Bravo sitting in the living room. Bravo’s back was facing me so he could not see me entering the room, but Imogen felt my presence immediately. She was quick in reaction and she waved her wand. Bravo was then paralyzed. Then Imogen and I then hugged and kissed each other, since we were meeting after many days. She told me how hard it was for her to live with this wizard. Then we turn by turn drank all Bravo's of the blood of Bravo. This was our plan. After drinking the blood of a wizard we also became part a wizard, part vampire. Now we were vampires and wizards at the same time. Now we had power and money because we drank blood of a wizard and Imogen was the heir of all of Bravo's the belongings of Bravo. It This was my entire plan; though I had a difficult time convincing Imogen to for do this.
Now one thing was left. I had to challenge Mevsqie, the greatest wizard present in the world. After defeating him I would get all of his powers. After getting training from I trained with the legendary Bloody Chester, the former Wizard champion. Then I challenged Mevsqie. Our fight took place in front of thousands of people and at last, after many tries, I was able to defeat him. Now I was the greatest wizard of the world. Imogen and I were very happy now. I gave her everything which that I had promised to her. Now we were rich, powerful and happy. My wife had led me to achieve such tasks and do things which I could have never done alone."
...wow. That was a lot of editing. Took a long time!
Positives: I think this story has great potential. I really think you could go somewhere with this if you took the time to add greater detail and description to it.
Sidenotes: If you decide to make any revisions, feel free to email me and I will gladly re-review and re-rate it for you. :)
Write on!
K.L. Carpenter
"Do not write what you think others will want.
Write only what you would read.
For therein those words lies part of your soul-
inside the language you bleed."
-K.L. Carpenter
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