At first glance, this poem hooks you in with it's contents and makes you want to read the rest of it. It tells a complete story without being a standard point a to point b situation. Carries a strong message of rising above own personal doubt about our limitations and how even one nice person can give us a whole new outlook on life instead of just letting the bullies and self esteem ruin us especially at our lowest points in life. Well done. :)
This was a very illuminating story. I have always wondered about how technology will change in the future. If you think about it, How many people would be able to live without power? It has been changing rapidly over the last decade or two. Not many people write letters or hang out outside anymore. Now its all about emailing, txting, video-chat, etc. Its like technology is slowly taking away human contact.
I really think that you were able to really get inside the readers mind and make them really think about what you were putting down and realizing that although this is a work of fiction, It is very possible to have something like these things happening in the future. I know that it really make me think harder about how things have changed from growing up and honestly how past relatives were able to survive without the technology that we have the privilege of having today. Honestly I would agree with John in your story about the fact that technology is moving way to fast. Yes its awesome to have all this stuff around us but pretty soon we may forget about things that are important to basic human communication and with life in general. Pretty soon all the cool stuff that we have seen in sci-fi films/TV shows or read about in books would become real. If you pay attention to them you would realize that things are missing. All those skyscrapers, flying cars, etc. Where would the trees be? There wouldn't be a lot of space for nature to exist at all and that would upset the balance and natural order of everything. In my opinion I don't even think that we would be able to live as well in those conditions. I would miss seeing all the natural beauty of the outdoors and relaxing at a park watching families having picnics or playing outside with each other and their pets. Seems like a lot of people want to trade reality with virtual reality and that scares me to be honest.
All in all, the fact that your story has made me really think about this whole issue, I think this is really well done. You made it flow flawlessly and I was able to see your point from the beginning of the story and you came up with some pretty interesting ideas points to symbolize how much we truly seem to rely on technology. Awesome Job and I would defiantly keep an eye out for more writing from you.
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