It's a good essay, all around, however, I feel that it needs transitions between paragraphs. The vocabulary and use of rhetorical techniques are definately strong. I particularly like the part where you connected a quote from the 1800s to today and the part where you made up some rediculous-sounding product and made an example of it.
I wish more people would write anti-war songs now. When my parents were my age, Vietnam was in full-swing. Students would have walk-outs, and people would write anti-war songs, but now the musicians won't do it because of the fear of wiretapping. I'm glad you wrote this. At least someone isn't afraid to speak their mind.
VERY beautiful, yet very similar to The Sandman series and American Gods both by Neil Gaiman and the Nightside series by Simon R. Green with a little James Joyce thrown in for good measure. Your work was enjoyable, and, despite a couple of small mechaincal errors (but we all make those), it was nearly flawless. Some would say the stream-of-consciousness style is hard to follow, but it makes a lot of sense here, and I applaud you for using it appropriately. I enjoyed how the present is juxtaposed against the past, especially with the use of italics. I also really liked how the story ends only implying what might happen to John. I think it was also a good choice to give him an "everyman" kind of name, which made him so much easier to relate to. Overall, a beautiful piece.
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