i can tell that a great effort was put into this. perhaps this would have worked as well if you made it in two parts instead of one long piece. i will say it has given me some pause for thought. which is what i am guessing the goal was for this work.
overall, spot on work, keep it up
this is like a look into the mind of a cat, if cats were sane. it made me laugh though. pretty good work but i think there is room to grow still.the 2ed verse. idk something about it seemed kinda weak. not bad mind you. just not has good as it could have been.
overall i really did like it. a nice cute little poem
an interesting concept personally I've always been more fond of nightmares but personal flavors not withstanding I'd say this was a good job I see some real potential for more stories with this setting. perhaps next time go from the perspective of a nightmare. hope this helps
a nice little taste of horrorish fun. I'm glad i stumbled on this the one line being just the word sunlight seemed a little weak but over all pretty cool
i feel this is a very poetic way of explaining the effects of depression. i would say this is a very good job. one thing i would warn you about is maybe you should stop here, in the description you mentioned it isn't finished. but while it is beautifully worded you don't want to over to it and make it seem tacky.
over all it seems like fine work. just don't get carried away. good luck
I'm not the best are reviewing but I'll try here. the concept seems interesting to me, i personally wouldn't mind seeing more stories following the events here. its got a good creepy feel to it, but it is sort of an undertone. which isn't a bad thing mind you, but it does beg for more delving into this setting. i hope this has been helpful. keep up the good work
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