Well written. I believe many people have had the unfortunate luck of having that problem. I wonder, if I being too noisy, of course you do not have to reply, but did this happen to you? If it did you am sorry for your pain and I am sure you will someday find the right someone.
I enjoyed this bit of your story. There are some spelling problems hidden in your story but for the most part well written. Your lead character is well rounded, I would say something about your other characters but I don't know much about them, yet. I would love to read more of your story.
I have read all of the series but it has been many years and hundreds of books since I have read that book. I enjoyed the movie. I will have to get to reading that book again so that I might analyze it compared to the movie. I didn't see grammar problems in your essay. The topic was interesting. I will write you back later when I am able to read the story again and give more opinions.
Good story. Some spelling and grammar errors. Don't take this wrong but I believe it would make a great children's book. Good luck on the rest of the book.
You have a good start to your novel. I did not see any problems on reading this chapter and plan on reading your second that you just wrote. I would have replied yesterday but it started getting late and I did not want to rush through the chapter because I was tired.
Good poem and a bit sad. We all have at sometime had people who are close to us, lie to us about various subjects. Don't let those people hurt you over and over again, by giving into the monster you are giving them a piece of yourself.
I haven't read the earlier chapters but what I have just read pretty much give me the gist of things. I really like it has had adventure, connects to the reader. The only thing I would advise is getting latter part of the story with more of a flow. I also thought the part about the shoe laces was pretty funny.
You have my attention with this beginning, well thought out story so far. I hope you finish it soon so that I can read what happens to the two campers. You do intend to finish the story, hopefully?
Cute poem. I guess that she is the type of girl that doesn't walk nature trail very often. Well, If the bunny was anything like the bunny in the movie, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I slowly get up and start running again.
this story reminds me of the old saying, be careful of what you wish for. As you have mentioned there are some grammar mistakes, but that aside it was a interesting story.
I know the joy of walking in the woods and the sorrow of seeing tree cut down. I am glad the girl saved some of the trees.I know that you have to burn the underbush to give trees and other species room to grow after a while or it will get too crowed in the area. Cute poem.
So far you have made me interested in the character (good job). I am guessing that the fine looking man that she eludes to in the prologue is Anastasia father. The tip that I see that you could use right now is to use more commas in your story other than that nothing.
I have a lot of questions to ask about your entry. Is this based on true facts? Did the character move away from others or did they have to change to another school (example). On your last statement did you get writer's block or called away? Well, hope you can finish your writing.
I believe the idea behind the story is interesting. I might be wrong but the story feels more like part of a chapter in a novel you should write. I don't know who your main character is but ones hunting them could be government agents. I see the story could be something like firestarter but with the ablility change other like mutanant on x-men.
So far so good. I like that the dragon breathes ice, that is pretty cool. And it is new that you have chosen a present time unlike most other dragon stories. I might be wrong but did he not realize and tranport himself out of the burning house?
Your poem has a point. The wind can wisper a sweet song one day and join in your emotional fury the next day. I know that I myself have let the soft summer rained wind soak me through my skin down to my bones, to let healing through me.
I think it is a good poem. I think most of us after a certain age has had those feelings about someone in our life. That ghost that will not go away or you will not let loose because it means the true ending of the relationship and can hurt worst than the departure in the first place.
I believe that a lot of people feel lost these days, those who are lucky are at least able to put these feelings in written words or some other artistic means in order keep the feeling from swallowing them up whole from the inside out. good poem.
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