Your short piece is awesome and contains fantastic imagery and a very powerful and true meaning. I can really relate to your thoughts. I taught 20 years in a psychiatric hospital for adolescents. While I never engaged in self mutilation, I was an abused child. It took me many years and my abuser's death to realize I did not deserve the punishment I recieved. You expressed that notion very skillfully. I am reminded of the need to watch my own words, realizing they can be a deadly weapon which can cause damage that it is hard to repair. It is a vicious cycle.
Possession is a masterfully written, suspenseful short story. I like your word choices, similies and realistic dialogue. I would suspect you have worked in the field of psychology and/or with the criminally insane. The characters in the hospital are very real. Your story is very believable until the little creatures arrive on the scene. The story is very engaging with some clever twists. I especially liked the ending.
I thought your mad lib was pretty crazy (in a good way). Many of my word choices were ridiculous but,I guess that's the point. Your mechanics and word choices are quite good. You must be a boxing fan. Your clever Mad Lib makes me want to try my hand at creating one.
Your piece is very clever, writing from the cats point of view. I love cats. I would love to get inside my labs head. He is a good dog but, lives to eat.
Why should I Run Away is well written and just the write length. You have now typos and use good grammar.
This is a very well written poem. It is very tender and serious. I am sure it comes from your heart. I particularly enjoyed the imagery in the second stanza. The ending is sweet and seems full of sincerity.
Anna,
I think your poem is very sweet and full of raw emotion. It had a sense of innocence that was appealing. I liked the musical theme. You incorporated the musical elements cleverly throughout your poem.
Only one typo was noted- "storm" in the second stanza. I mention this only because you are requesting a serious review of your work.
I am curious after reading "Don't Know" if you have a background in music. This poem of young love shows promise. Good luck with your craft.
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