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27 Public Reviews Given
27 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
**Review:**

*Logic in Shadows* presents a thought-provoking exploration of social dynamics and communication in the modern age, drawing parallels to the intricate battles of wit depicted in popular culture. The author skillfully weaves personal anecdotes with literary references to Sherlock Holmes and James Moriarty, creating a compelling narrative that delves into the complexities of human interaction.

The writing is articulate and engaging, effectively conveying the author's internal struggles and insights. Through introspective analysis, the author dissects social encounters and examines the underlying motivations and fears that influence behavior. This introspection adds depth to the narrative and invites readers to reflect on their own experiences.

The author's critique of modern communication technologies and their impact on interpersonal relationships is thought-provoking. By contrasting traditional forms of communication with contemporary methods, the author highlights the potential drawbacks of relying too heavily on digital platforms for social interaction. This critique prompts readers to consider the importance of genuine human connection in an increasingly digitized world.

Overall, *Logic in Shadows* offers a compelling commentary on the complexities of social interaction and the challenges of navigating interpersonal relationships in the digital age. The author's insightful observations and engaging writing style make this piece both thought-provoking and enjoyable to read.


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2
2
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
**Review:**

**Chapter 1:**

The chapter sets a mysterious and eerie tone right from the beginning, drawing readers into Emily's unsettling experience. The vivid descriptions effectively convey Emily's fear and confusion, creating a sense of suspense. The introduction of her adoptive father, John, adds depth to the narrative and hints at the dynamics of Emily's family life.

However, there are some areas that could be improved for clarity and flow. The transition between Emily's nightmare and waking reality could be smoother to avoid confusion for the reader. Additionally, while the dialogue between Emily and her father adds realism to the scene, some of the exchanges feel slightly forced and could benefit from more natural language.

Overall, the chapter effectively establishes the main character's internal conflict and hints at the larger supernatural elements at play. With some refinement in pacing and dialogue, it has the potential to engage readers further and set up an intriguing storyline.

Write On!!


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3
3
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
This piece portrays a scenario where the protagonist, Scootaloo, faces financial hardship and makes an unconventional decision to trade her worn shoes for cash at a pawn shop. The narrative takes a surprising turn when the pawn shop worker expresses an unusual request related to Scootaloo's feet, leading to a transaction that ultimately benefits her financially.

While the story is certainly unique and captures the desperation of the character, there are several aspects that need consideration:

1. **Tone and Theme**: The tone of the story feels inconsistent and may come across as overly sensationalized, especially with the focus on foot fetishism. The theme of financial struggle and resilience could be explored with more depth and sensitivity.

2. **Characterization**: Scootaloo's character feels underdeveloped, and her motivations for engaging in the unusual transaction are not fully explored. Adding more depth to her character would enhance the reader's understanding of her actions and struggles.

3. **Dialogue and Interaction**: The dialogue between Scootaloo and the pawn shop worker feels unrealistic and exaggerated, particularly in their interaction regarding the foot fetish. Creating more authentic and nuanced dialogue would improve the overall credibility of the story.

4. **Pacing and Detailing**: The pacing of the narrative could be adjusted to maintain a consistent flow and prevent abrupt shifts in tone. Additionally, providing more descriptive details about the setting and characters' emotions would enhance the reader's immersion in the story.

Overall, while the premise of the story is intriguing, refining the execution to ensure coherence, authenticity, and sensitivity would elevate its impact and resonance with readers.


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4
4
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love this, the flow is nice.
Write on!
5
5
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
The poem conveys a strong message about the importance of purpose and its impact on achieving goals and shaping character. Here's my review:

1. The first stanza sets the tone effectively by emphasizing the necessity of purpose. Consider varying the language in the second line to avoid repetition ("When passionately displayed, This endeavor in seeking rewards").

2. The second stanza expands on the idea of purpose and its broad application to various aspects of life. The language is clear and concise.

3. In the third stanza, "permanence in a skillful and likable trade" feels a bit abrupt. Consider rephrasing or expanding on this idea to provide more context.

4. The fourth stanza acknowledges the importance of gratitude towards foresight and its positive influence on both ourselves and others. It effectively ties back to the overarching theme.

5. The final stanza reinforces the central message but could benefit from more vivid imagery or concrete examples to enhance the impact.

Overall, the poem effectively conveys its message about purpose, gratitude, and their significance in shaping individual lives and the world around us. Adding more specific details or imagery could further enrich the poem's depth and resonance.


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6
6
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your haiku captures a vivid scene with evocative imagery. Here's a review and correction:

Night embraces sky.
Blue moon, bright enough to wake;
our souls mourn below.

I have a few suggestions: for a smoother flow, you can replace "envelops" with "embraces" for variety and to maintain the syllable count. Additionally, You can change "on earth" to "below" to maintain the focus on the scene above and the contrast with the souls below.
Overall, your haiku effectively conveys a sense of melancholy and beauty.

Write on!


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7
7
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This poem effectively captures a sense of introspection and contemplation through its candid and straightforward language. Here are some observations:

1. **Authentic Voice**: The poem has a genuine and authentic tone, allowing the reader to connect with the narrator's thoughts and emotions. The use of first-person narration adds a personal touch, making the piece feel intimate and relatable.

2. **Exploration of Emotions**: The poem delves into feelings of pensive reflection and melancholy without succumbing to despair or self-pity. It acknowledges the challenges and struggles faced by the narrator while maintaining a sense of resilience and determination.

3. **Symbolism and Imagery**: The use of imagery, such as looking out windows, hearing crickets, and observing stars, adds depth to the narrative and enhances its emotional impact. These symbols effectively convey the passage of time and the narrator's sense of isolation and longing.

4. **Critique of Medication Culture**: The poem subtly critiques the over-reliance on medication to address emotional and psychological struggles. It challenges the notion that taking pills is a solution to every problem, highlighting the importance of addressing underlying issues and finding alternative coping mechanisms.

Overall, the poem offers a thoughtful and introspective exploration of the human experience, inviting readers to reflect on their own struggles, emotions, and coping strategies.


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8
8
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem beautifully captures the dynamic and vibrant essence of a garden stirred by the wind. The repetition of the phrase "As the wind blows through my garden" creates a rhythmic structure that enhances the flow of the poem and emphasizes the ongoing movement and transformation within the garden.

The imagery of the trees waving hello, the flowers bending to smell the grass, and the soil seemingly learning to fly evokes a sense of whimsy and wonder, bringing the garden to life in the reader's mind. The personification of nature elements, such as the "green fingers swaying" and the "soil learn[ing] to fly," adds depth and character to the scene, inviting the reader to connect with the natural world on a deeper level.

The final two lines serve as a poignant reflection, emphasizing the interconnectedness and vitality of the garden. The realization that the garden is alive underscores the theme of awareness and appreciation for the beauty and intricacy of the natural world.

Overall, this poem effectively captures the sensory experience of being immersed in a living garden and conveys a sense of reverence for the magic and vitality of nature.


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9
9
Review of Deadline Apology  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This haiku sequence reflects a contemplation on the absence of inspiration and the struggle to meet deadlines in creative endeavors.

The first haiku sets the stage with a stark admission of the poet's lack of material or inspiration, conveyed through the absence of a poem to write about.

In the second haiku, the poet expresses the urgency and frustration of their situation, likening their thoughts to racing entities attempting to break free from the confines of their mind, symbolized by the quill. The mention of a "time warp" suggests a feeling of being stuck or trapped in a cycle of unproductivity.

The third haiku intensifies the sentiment, emphasizing the suffocation of artistic expression by the imposition of deadlines. The phrase "art stifled by most" encapsulates the struggle faced by many artists in balancing creative freedom with external pressures.

Finally, the last haiku presents a subtle shift in perspective. The mention of a "shift of flow" suggests a change in the poet's mindset or the emergence of a new idea. The use of "Lit-captured/I did not know" implies a sudden realization or inspiration that was previously unrecognized or unanticipated. The poem concludes with a bow and apologies, perhaps signaling a sense of humility or gratitude for the creative spark that has been ignited despite the initial struggle.

Overall, this haiku sequence effectively captures the emotional journey of grappling with creative blockage and the eventual breakthrough of inspiration, all within the constraints of a strict syllabic and thematic structure.


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10
10
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This poem adheres strictly to a rhyming structure, reminiscent of traditional poetry from an older era. The use of rhyme creates a rhythmic flow throughout the piece, enhancing its poetic quality.

The playful tone adds charm to the poem, as evidenced by the confession of resorting to alphabetically arranged rhymes, which injects a sense of humor and self-awareness into the verse.

The repetition of rhyming words like "boat," "coat," "dote," and "gloat" adds coherence and reinforces the poem's structure. Additionally, the use of alliteration in phrases like "floats my boat" and "warm as a coat" adds a pleasing sound to the poem.

The incorporation of phrases like "gets your goat" and "cross the moat" adds a touch of whimsy and further showcases the poet's adherence to rhyme.

Overall, this poem effectively captures the essence of traditional rhyming poetry while infusing it with a modern and playful twist.

I love it❤️❤️❣️


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11
11
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem beautifully captures the essence of friendship and camaraderie on Writing.com (WdC). The imagery of friends coming together in virtual space, united by their shared passion for writing, is both heartwarming and inspiring.

The poet skillfully depicts the collaborative nature of storytelling, where friends craft tales that evoke a range of emotions, from joy to sorrow. The reference to keystrokes echoing hopes and aspirations reflects the power of writing to express one's innermost thoughts and dreams.

Despite the physical distance between them, the friends on Writing.com form a strong fellowship, bonded by their love for prose and the creative process. The poem celebrates the unspoken stories and the unwritten words that connect them, emphasizing the sense of belonging and community found within this digital haven.

Overall, "Of Friends and Keyboards on WdC" is a touching tribute to the friendships forged through writing, highlighting the shared journey of creativity and the sense of home found among fellow writers.

Write on!


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12
12
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem explores themes of faith, love, and divine guidance in a reflective and contemplative manner. It begins by emphasizing the importance of thoughtful consideration and deliberation in life's journey, suggesting that love can be found after a long wait. The speaker portrays a sense of longing and anticipation for the arrival of love.

The mention of pain and aversion to heights suggests vulnerability and fear, but there is also a sense of trust in the divine ("The Holy Christ") to provide strength and support. The reference to Christ raising the falling curtain could symbolize the lifting of obstacles or the unveiling of hidden truths.

The poem emphasizes the importance of humility and reliance on the divine ("His due reliance") in forming alliances and navigating life's challenges. There is a recognition of the values taught by the Lord and the notion of paying dues for blessings received.

The speaker expresses a reluctance to face reality and acknowledges the neutrality of truth, suggesting a struggle with accepting the complexities of life. However, there is also a sense of wonder and awe at the power of Christ to guide and control destiny.

Overall, the poem offers a thoughtful exploration of faith and love, highlighting the role of divine intervention and the need for humility and reliance on higher powers in life's journey.


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13
13
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Boots of Bellfonte" is a heartfelt poem that tells the story of a dog named Boots who lives by a vacant house and eagerly awaits the daily visits of a kind man, a pretty woman, and their dog, Sammy. The poem beautifully captures Boots' perspective as he observes the interactions of the couple and their dog, offering a mix of humor and tenderness.

The poem skillfully portrays Boots' longing for companionship and his desire to be part of a family again, as he reminisces about his previous family and dreams of being reunited with them. The author effectively conveys Boots' emotions and thoughts, making the reader empathize with his situation.

The use of descriptive language paints vivid images of Boots' surroundings and the interactions between the characters, creating a charming and engaging narrative. The poem also touches on themes of loneliness, friendship, and the importance of love and companionship.

Overall, "Boots of Bellfonte" is a touching and poignant poem that celebrates the bond between humans and animals and reminds us of the power of love and connection in overcoming loneliness and adversity.

Write on!❣️


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14
14
Review of The Kiss  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
The story "The Kiss" offers a nostalgic glimpse into a memorable Super Bowl gathering where camaraderie and unexpected events collide. Set in 1996, the narrative immerses readers in the lively atmosphere of the party, where friends gather to enjoy food, drinks, and the big game. The characters are vividly portrayed, each with their own distinct personalities and dynamics within the group.

As the evening unfolds, playful banter and teasing among the friends give way to a surprising moment when Sherry and Lori share a passionate kiss. This unexpected turn of events captivates the attention of the partygoers and leads to a flurry of reactions and emotions.

The author skillfully captures the essence of the moment, weaving together humor, sensuality, and genuine human connection. Through the protagonist's reflections, the significance of the kiss is underscored, serving as a poignant reminder of the power of love and desire.

Overall, "The Kiss" is a compelling narrative that resonates with readers, evoking nostalgia for simpler times and celebrating the beauty of unexpected moments of intimacy and connection.


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15
15
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem delves into the complexities of modern society, exploring themes of truth, power, and societal unrest through the lens of a game of Truth or Dare. The language is evocative and thought-provoking, painting a picture of protests and battles waged within the confines of a game. The imagery of dark riots and violence contrasts sharply with the notion of openness and societal backing, highlighting the tension between authenticity and manipulation. The poem captures the frustration and disillusionment of a generation grappling with distorted realities and misplaced trust. Overall, it offers a poignant reflection on the challenges of navigating truth and power in a world plagued by societal discord.


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16
16
Review of The Flowers  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
This poem beautifully captures the serene atmosphere of flowers blooming in the soft purple light of dusk. It paints a vivid picture of nature's beauty and evokes a sense of tranquility. The imagery is delicate and captivating, drawing the reader into a world of dancing petals and rare stamens. The mention of infrared adds an intriguing twist to the scene. The poem also hints at nostalgia with the mention of a makeshift card from days gone by. Overall, it is a charming piece that celebrates the beauty of nature and the joy it brings.


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17
17
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
This passage depicts a contrast between the young and the old, highlighting the energy and drive of the former and the stubbornness of the latter. However, there are some grammatical and stylistic issues that could be addressed for clarity and coherence.

Here are some corrections and suggestions:

- Instead of "sexy, not lazy," consider using a word that better captures the desired meaning, as "sexy" may not fit the context.
- In the line "With the old, stubborn folks letting them have it," it's not entirely clear what "letting them have it" refers to. Consider revising for clarity.
- "Mature and wily, sticking to habit…" - This phrase could be rephrased to enhance clarity and flow.
- "Dainty old soldiers, acting like clowns" - The juxtaposition of "dainty" and "soldiers" may create confusion. Consider using descriptors that align more closely with the theme.
- "Until finally, someday, they did something right…" - While this line adds anticipation, it could be more specific to enhance impact.
- In the stanza beginning with "We’ve met these people, known them for years," ensure consistency in verb tense for clarity.
- "Tried some lesson, but wouldn’t listen to reason" - Consider rephrasing for clarity, as the meaning is unclear.
- "And succeeded greatly, for many a season…" - This line could be expanded to provide more detail or context.
- "The greatest respect, these people have earned" - Consider using a more active construction for stronger impact.
- "Leading to fortunes, and clearing the slate" - Clarify how their rationale and reasons lead to fortunes and clear slates.
- "Pleasing young children and making them proud" - Ensure consistency in verb tense for clarity and coherence.
- "Paid folks for their work, and did what they said…" - This line could be expanded or clarified to provide more context or detail.

Overall, the passage conveys a message of resilience and success, but some adjustments in language and structure could enhance clarity and impact.


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18
18
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This insightful piece reflects on the importance of being a well-informed consumer of news in today's digital age. The author, a career journalist, highlights the prevalence of opinionated individuals who eschew traditional news sources while still forming strong opinions. They emphasize the need for a diverse range of sources to avoid bias and misinformation.

The author provides valuable advice on navigating the vast landscape of online information, cautioning readers to be discerning when consuming content from forums and blogs. They stress the importance of differentiating between news reporting and commentary, urging readers to seek out both and educate themselves on various perspectives.

Through personal anecdotes and examples, such as a journalism course exercise that revealed audience bias in interpreting news delivery, the author effectively illustrates the complexity of media consumption and the role of individual perception.

Overall, the piece encourages readers to be proactive in seeking out diverse sources of information, challenging them to be critical thinkers and contributing valuable perspectives to the public discourse.


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19
19
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
I love how you started, but what happened.
It seemed incomplete.
Write on


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20
20
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This heartfelt poem explores themes of self-reflection, resilience, and overcoming adversity. The speaker addresses themselves in the mirror, expressing concern and empathy for the person they see reflected. They acknowledge the changes they've observed, noting a shift in attitude and demeanor. Despite the challenges and hardships faced, there's a message of hope and encouragement woven throughout the verses.

The imagery of looking into one's own eyes and seeing sadness reflects a deep emotional struggle. The repetition of phrases like "This too you shall beat" and "A past life you shall erase" conveys a sense of determination and resolve to move forward from past pain and hardship.

Overall, the poem offers a poignant reminder of the importance of self-love, resilience, and letting go of pain to embrace a brighter future. It speaks to the universal experience of facing adversity and finding strength within oneself to overcome it.


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