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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kittee
Review Requests: ON
826 Public Reviews Given
997 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'm an in-depth reviewer. You won't receive a 250 character review from me. In stories I look at the characters, the plot, grammar, spelling, punctuation - anything and everything that catches my eye. In poetry I look at rhyme, rhythm, flow, punctuation, imagery and overall impact. This means that I am far from the fastest reviewer on the site. A poetry review can take me an hour, a story review, well... I once spent twelve hours on one. So, if you request a review from me, please don't expect me to rush through your item. I hope I can make the wait worth your while, though!
I'm good at...
* In-depth reviewing. At least, I hope so! * Encouragement. That's what people tell me anyway, and I do try my best. I may make suggestions, but I hope that they are helpful. * Spending time with an item. I won't rush through it.
Favorite Genres
I'll read and review pretty much any genre, but I do have a fondness for fantasy, romance and comedy.
Least Favorite Genres
Again, I'll read and review pretty much anything, but I am a bit cautious around horror and don't enjoy items that contain graphic violence, torture, or gore.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories and poetry.
Least Favorite Item Types
Not sure, really!
I will not review...
Items that contain overly graphic violence and gore, torture (of people or animals), animal cruelty in general, or items that are racist or homophobic in nature.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi New Year's Sox Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2025" Open in new Window. [13+]! *Smile*

Overall Impression:

Boy, you sure took on a challenge here. That's a tricky set of prompts! And even though you only needed to choose one of them, you successfully managed to incorporate all three in this item. Impressive!

This really is a clever entry. At the beginning of the piece we encounter Ashley, who's picking up coffee for her colleagues. A common thing to do, except that it's not that simple for Ashley. Not when for her everyone and everything has its own numinous qualities, and that means that she knows that whilst the creamer is safe, the disposable cup is evil.

When you see and experience the world like that, life becomes very interesting, not to mention complicated. Things become even more complicated when she finds herself in an elevator with a group of men, one of whom may well be her soulmate... but who? And why is he there?

And then there's the twist at the end. I did not see that coming! Again, this is cleverly done, because it leaves one to wonder... was it all in her head? But then, why did he kiss her? Was there indeed more to the encounter than her colleagues know? I guess that's up to the reader to interpret!

All in all, I thought that this made for a fun and interesting read. Well done!

Suggestions:

I do have some suggestions. I hope that you'll find them helpful!

Paragraph 1:

*Snow2* because it glowed green but that

I suggest placing a comma after 'green'.

*Snow2* Every person place and object

I suggest placing a comma after 'person'.

Paragraph 2:

*Snow2* There are a few misspellings of 'Ashley' in this paragraph. That may be worth looking at.

*Snow2* Besides that side of the building

I suggest placing a comma after 'Besides'.

Paragraph 3:

*Snow2* to the brightly sunlit cubicles access to plentiful windows

I think that 'cubicles' should be cubicles'.

*Snow2* to the first floor. when the door opened there Brilliance knocked her as physically backward.

A few things here: 'when' should be When, as it's the beginning of a new sentence. I'd place a comma after 'there'. 'Brilliance' does not need to be capitalised. And I suggest removing the word 'as'.

*Snow2* and Peculiarly Ashely couldn't

'Peculiarly' does not need to be capitalised. Also, a missspelling of 'Ashley'.

Paragraph 4:

*Snow2* of the forgotten coffee's

'coffee's' should be coffees.

*Snow2* most of the liquid then he stepped back

I suggest placing a comma after 'liquid'.

*Snow2* THe man in the suit

'THe' should be The.

*Snow2* THe man wielding a phone

'THe' should be The.

Paragraph 9:

*Snow2* at the card and blinked then he scanned

I suggest placing a comma after 'blinked'.

*Snow2* from his pocket It glowed so brightly

Missing period - I'd place it after 'pocket'.

*Snow2* She gasped, as Dwight flinched, his horns glowed darkly

I suggest placing either an 'and' before 'his horns' or playing around with the punctuation here for greater clarity.

Paragraph 10:

*Snow2* "Exactly who are you here after?"

Maybe "Exactly who are you after here?" or just "Exactly who are you after?"

Paragraph 12:

*Snow2* as in conspicuous as she could

'in conspicuous' should be inconspicuous.

*Snow2* seemed to make any note of her.

I think 'make' should be take.

Paragraph 13:

*Snow2* He pulled and ax shaped rubber stamp

'and' should be an. Also, 'ax shaped' should be ax-shaped.

Paragraph 15:

*Snow2* He pulled a sword shaped rubber stamp

'sword shaped' should be sword-shaped.

*Snow2* with it , leaving a golden imprint of "TERMINATED," upon it.

I suggest removing the space before the first comma. Also, you don't need the comma after 'terminated'.

*Snow2* Dwight collapsed backward within himself as all the darkness in the building was sucked within him. Within moments

There are three instances of 'within' here, quite close together. That may be worth rephrasing, to avoid that repetition.

Paragraph 16:

*Snow2* "My dear I have been

I suggest placing a comma after 'dear'.

*Snow2* long ago dear. He wrapped

I suggest removing the word 'dear' - he already addressed her as such in the previous sentence. You also need a quotation mark here, as it's the end of the dialogue and the beginning of the action.

*Snow2* "And you and I were supposed to have founder long before that

I'm not sure what is meant by 'founder'. Perhaps have found each other?

*Snow2* a soul completing kiss

'soul completing' should be soul-completing.

*Snow2* when combined with her.

I think that 'her' should be hers in this context.

Paragraph 17:

*Snow2* the Ups pickup man

I think that 'Ups' should be UPS.

My Rating:

This is a short but engaging read. It makes creative use of the given prompts. I enjoyed it.

I did have quite a few suggestions. The story is good; it just needs tidying. That makes it very difficult to choose my rating. Normally, with a lot of suggestions I would score on the lower end, but I really did like what you've done here. So, I'll go with a three out of five.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Best of luck in the contest!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
2
2
for entry "Memorable Books" Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

I always enjoy learning about books that made an impression on other readers, as you may well find your next read in such a list. That is what happened here: I found your memorable nonfiction reads, and especially your reasons for listing them, to be very interesting, and I have bookmarked a couple for when I am next in the market for new books. Thank you!

Each of the four books listed sounds fascinating, but I especially liked Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything. by Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner and Caveat Emptor: The Secret Life of an American Art Forger by Ken Perenyi. The latter sounds like it'll take me on a journey into a world I can hardly imagine, and the first... well, I too studied economics at university as part of my Politics, Philosophy and Economics degree, and I didn't have the most enjoyable time of it. In fact, I often drifted off reading those textbooks. This book sounds like it will be a lot more illuminating, focusing on everyday life rather than dry statistics.

It is true that our everyday lives are intertwined with politics, philosophy and, indeed, economics. We live, work and function within our economic system, which in turn is influenced by international economic structures. I reckon it can be an interesting subject, depending on how it is presented. So, again, thank you for the suggestion.

All in all, this was a good read. Well done!

Suggestions:

As so often is the case when I read and review your work, I have no suggestions. Sorry. You know your spelling, grammar and punctuation, and you kept my attention throughout. Again, well done!

My Rating:

This entry gave me a couple of good suggestions for future reading, so I am glad that I stopped by!

I had no suggestions. Therefore, I will give this entry a rating of 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work, and your thoughts!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
3
3
for entry "Chimney Caroling" Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi KingsSideCastle Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

The entry I'm reviewing was written for "Hook of the Book" Open in new Window. [18+]. Using a photo prompt as inspiration, the intention is to write the opening lines of a story, in the hopes that they'll hook/intrigue the reader.

I had a look at the prompt, and I think that you did well with it. You subverted expectation by setting the scene after Christmas, which instantly gives a fresh perspective on the image and explains Timothy's curiosity. We now have a character, a setting and a motive - an excellent start which would indeed make me want to read on were these the first lines of a longer piece. Well done!

Suggestions:

I do have a couple of suggestions. I hope that you'll find them helpful!

Sentence 1:

*Snow2* the Chimney

'Chimney' should be chimney - no capital letter needed.

Sentence 2:

*Snow2* It would have been expected if it still Christmas but

I would add the word was after 'it'. I also suggest placing a comma before 'but', as it connects two independent clauses.

My Rating:

This is a fun take on the prompt. I think it will do well.

I did have some suggestions. Nothing major, though. Therefore, I will give this entry a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work, and best of luck in the contest!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
4
4
Review of Life Lessons  Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sumojo Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

Life's not easy. We all know this. Sometimes, it can be very difficult to feel motivated. During the darkest times in one's life even getting out of bed may feel like an insurmountable task. It's safer under the covers. Not easy, but easier, perhaps... except that out there our responsibilities are piling up, and friends and family are growing increasingly concerned, and as the clock ticks guilt mounts and getting started can become even more difficult than it did before.

This poem expresses that feeling well. Whether we can do something about them or not, our troubles won't just go away because we wish they would. We still have to face the day, face the world, even if it seems impossible to do so. I like that you advise the reader to get help from those you trust. It can be too easy to feel all alone, but we're not. Help is out there. Other people may not understand exactly how we feel, but that doesn't mean that they don't want to support us. It's not a weakness to need others. Just as we'd wish for our friends to call on us if needed, they feel the same way about us.

On the technical side of things, this poem reads well. It has a pleasant rhythm and flow. Well done.

Suggestions:

I have only one suggestion:

Stanza 1:

*Snow2* somethings won’t wait.

I think that 'somethings' should be some things.

My Rating:

This is a poem with a good message. I enjoyed the read.

I did have one suggestion. It's only minor, though. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

Little Dragon signature.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
5
5
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is an interesting blog post, dear Jeff, written for an interesting prompt. It gave me plenty of food for thought, and that's always enjoyable.

The entry is about contentment and ambition and ponders if you can be both content and ambitious at the same time. I agree with your findings. Where ambition turns into greed and envy, that is certainly problematic. Not every ambition a person may have is problematic, however. Though, it may not be easy to find that place in life and in oneself where contentment and ambition are perfectly balanced.

I find myself pretty contented with where I am in life. I have a nice home, in a nice place of the world, with a lovely husband and a great couple of cats. Some external factors are stressful, but they are not of a nature I can do anything about. I do have ambitions - to get my poetry and possibly my children's story collections published one day, to find a job that works a bit better with whatever else I have going on, and to do a bat ecology and surveying course. My life won't be worse if these things do not happen, but it would be nice if they did. Where ambition becomes more difficult is working on myself - I know that there are definitely areas I could improve on and I truly wish I could. I'm not always content with myself. Is that problematic? I hope not...

Sorry for partly making this review about me but, as said, you made me think! Which means that you've done a good job here.

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions, Jeff. Not helpful, I know, but you're an excellent writer who knows what's what when it comes to spelling and grammar, and I like the content. Again, well done!

My Rating:

As you can tell, I liked this post. It's well-written and worth a read.

I had no suggestions. Therefore, I will give your blog entry a 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
6
6
for entry "Quiet Chaos" Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi New Year's Sox Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

It's a tricky prompt over at "Promptly Poetry Challenge (2024-2025)" Open in new Window. [E] this week. 'Quiet chaos' is not easy to imagine - usually chaos comes with a lot of noise, be it crashing cars or the sound of a tearing curtain as a cat tries to make its way up. It's a challenge, then, and it's one that you've met successfully. I like your poem. It's clever.

The reason I like it is because you paint a series of images in the reader's head. In just a few words you presented me with all manner of chaotic scenes, in a wide variety of settings, and with various levels of danger and severity. Chaos does, indeed, come in many forms. And then you turn it upside down, with the 'nots'. As said, clever.

It's a short poem that reads well. It has a pleasant rhythm and flow, and is easy to follow. I enjoyed the rhyming scheme. It's bold. It's interesting. All in all, I think you've done a good job here.

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions about the content of this poem. It reads well and I spotted no spelling errors, grammar issues, nor anything else that I felt could be improved on. If anything, I suggest ending each line with a period. Or, you could end all but the final line with a comma, to maintain that flow, and end the final line with a period. Punctuation in poetry is a matter of personal choice, though. I'm a big fan, but I know that not everybody feels the same.

My Rating:

This is a good response to the given challenge. I enjoyed the read.

I did have one suggestion, but it's more of a matter of personal preference. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
7
7
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi 💙 Carly- Hello 2025 Author Icon,

This review is written as part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

Looks like we have chosen the same activity and the same prompt this week! I have to say that I think your poem is better than mine. I love the atmosphere of this piece. It's perfect for the season.

You chose one of the given poems as your inspiration, and I like what you did with it. I could easily visualise the 'trail of trouble' (I love that) and I know all too well what it is to try keep on top of the garden. There are leaves everywhere in mine, despite my best efforts. At least the hedgehog may be happy?

Soon, indeed, the snow will come. The nights are getting darker, and the cold weather is already setting in.

As I said before, this is a perfect poem for the season. It has a pleasant rhythm and flow. All in all, I think that you did a great job here.

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions. Not helpful, I know, but I like this poem as it is. Again, well done!

My Rating:

As you can no doubt tell, I liked your poem. It makes for a lovely read.

I had no suggestions. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
8
8
Review of In Over Your Head  Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
"What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Weirdone-Back in the games Author Icon,

Thank you for your entry in "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a very sweet story. As someone who also doesn't like to place her head under water I could very much relate!

Alex can swim, but he's failed his test twice because, as his family put it, he doesn't like to get his head wet. Now, during the summer vacation, he's at the pool and bumps into a classmate. Ingrid isn't at all scared of the water. She can do all manner of tricks. Where his family has failed, it turns out that Ingrid can make a difference...

I found Alex to be a likeable and, as mentioned, a relatable character. It was easy to feel for him and to wish him success. The side characters are great, too - the annoying sister felt very true to life and Ingrid is a very nice girl.

The item's tone suits the piece and you easily held my attention throughout. A creative take on the contest's prompt. Well done!

Suggestions:

I do have a few suggestions. I hope that you'll find them helpful!

Paragraph 1:

*Snow2* Oh no, The pool!

'The' should be the.

Paragraph 10:

*Snow2* asked my mother

There is a period missing at the end of the sentence.

Paragraph 26:

*Snow2* I picked the rope up and walked the under it.

I think that you can remove the 'the' before 'under'.

My Rating:

I liked this piece. It's a sweet, fun read.

I did have a few suggestions, but nothing major. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you so much for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
9
9
Review of Flight Q 986  Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
"What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Sumojo Author Icon,

Thank you for your entry in "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a powerful piece, dear author. It definitely meets the contest's requirements - Skyla is, indeed, in over her head.

The seemingly only survivor of a plane crash, the poor girl finds herself surrounded by bodies, and there's a stench of aircraft fuel in the air. She has to get out, but there are many horrors to face along the way. Thankfully, she knows a little about how to survive in difficult situations (I liked the Bear Grylls reference). She manages to find some water and food... but she has no idea where she is or whether or not she will be found.

The ending doesn't see her rescued, but there is hope. Her emotions along the way are realistic, and make me wonder how I would cope in a similar situation. Badly, I think. I, too, have watched survival shows, but I'd probably be terrified. That scene with the door added that kind of realism - it was well written.

All in all, I think you did a good job here. I enjoyed the read.

Suggestions:

I do have some suggestions. I hope you find them helpful!

Paragraph 14:

*Snow2* It is mentioned here that she has found enough water to last a week, as well as some packaged food. She then stuffs her jacket pocket with chocolate bars and bottles of water. I wouldn't think that a jacket pocket could hold more than a few bars and one, maybe two bottles. Is she keeping most of the food and water stashed on the plane? That wouldn't seem pleasant, what with the bodies, plus there's a fuel leak.

Paragraph 18:

*Snow2* and screaming and sobbing she screamed, “Is there anyone here?”

There is that repetition of 'screaming' and 'screamed' here. I think that 'and screaming' can be deleted, leaving and sobbing, she screamed, "Is there anyone here?”

Paragraph 20:

*Snow2* The thought forced her to move, but turned around every couple of minutes

I would add the word 'she' before 'turned'.

General Suggestion:

*Snow2* There are a few missing line spaces. That might be something to look at.

My Rating:

This is a strong piece. It makes for a good read.

I did have a few suggestions. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4 out of 5.

Thank you so much for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
10
10
Review of Where is Hullem?  Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
"What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi PureSciFi Author Icon,

Thank you for your entry in "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is an interesting story. I like what you have done with the contest prompt. Geora and the rest of the crew are definitely in over their heads!

The space ship is falling apart, and Geora has lost his little sister. As he searches for her, he discovers some people with bad intentions. Now he has an extra problem - they cannot risk him telling anyone.

The strength of this piece lies in how established Geora's world (well, ship) feels. There's a sense of history here. It feels like you truly know this place, in-depth, and that makes the reader immediately feel at home. It takes a lot of skill to do that, especially in a relatively short amount of words. It is clear that you have a lot of practice writing sci-fi!

I liked Geora's priorities, and I am glad that he found Hullem. I hope that wherever they're off to, they'll be safe and happy.

All in all, you did well here!

Suggestions:

I do have some suggestions. I hope that you find them helpful!

Paragraph 1:

*Snow2* knocking some of the others over, stepping over others, etc.

I suggest not ending this sentence with 'etc.' Perhaps it can be rephrased as something like knocking over some crew members and stepping over others.

Paragraph 2:

*Snow2* “What is Happening?”

'Happening' should be happening.

Paragraph 5:

*Snow2* over anyone around him, etc.

I suggest rephrasing this and getting rid of the 'etc.' here as well.

Paragraph 10:

*Snow2* continued Coonna softly

To be consistent with the tenses, 'continued' should be continues.

Section 3:

*Snow2* The third section of this story keeps on switching between past and present tense. That may be something to look at.

General Suggestion:

*Snow2* Throughout this story actions are often described as this or that person starts walking, starts shouting, starts running, and so on. There are more than 20 instances of actions beginning with 'starts' or 'started', and that is quite noticeable. It may be something to look at, too.

My Rating:

This is an interesting story. I enjoyed the read.

I did have some suggestions. You have a good piece here; it just needs a little bit of attention to get it perfect. Therefore, I will give this story a rating of 3.5 out of 5.

Thank you so much for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
11
11
Review of The Missionary  Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi LightinMind Author Icon,

Thank you for your entry in "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a very interesting take on the prompt. Will had a calling to save the people of India, but after a year in the nation he realises that he is, indeed, in over his head. India is a big country, with an enormous amount of people. He doesn't understand their blend of religions. He doesn't understand their history, their culture, the stories that they share nor the many political complexities. He finds himself lost and out of place. So, he does the one thing that he feels might hold some answers - he prays.

I love the detail woven into this story. I could understand why Will felt overwhelmed by all these different beliefs and experiences. As someone who moved to a different country, culture shock isn't easy to go through - let alone when you move to a country so very different from your own. We all of us would love to make a difference, but the reality we find ourselves in often makes us feel small and insignificant. What we don't tend to realise is that most of us aren't here to make a change that'll get us in the history books. That doesn't mean, however, that the changes we can make don't matter.

I liked the descriptions of the prayer, and the change it inspired in Will, renewing his faith, his hope and his sense of purpose. And I loved the ending. It made me wish a happy future for him with his new acquaintance. Sometimes, indeed, our future can change by simply saying hello.

All in all, I think that you have done a good job here.

Suggestions:

I only have one suggestion. I hope that you'll find it helpful!

Paragraph 1:

*Snow2* The word 'continual' is used three times within this paragraph, and it was noticeable. That may be something to look at. Changing one or two of these instances would get rid of that bit of repetition.

My Rating:

This is a strong, interesting story. It makes for a good read.

I did have one suggestion. Nothing major, though. I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you so much for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
12
12
Review of The Amazing Mouse  Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
"What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Damon Nomad Author Icon,

Thank you for your entry in "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

Okay, you got me! It did not see that ending coming! That sure brought a smile to my face!

This story is an excellent use of the prompt. The main characters are, indeed, in over their heads. It doesn't stop them, though! One takes charge and the other one reluctantly follows... turns out it was worth a shot.

I loved the build-up. The first part of this piece got me curious about what Steve had planned. The meeting that followed was great. I, too, thought for a moment that we were about to meet some kind of trained mouse. I tried to picture it, and wondered why such a major investment was necessary. Then, that aha moment, followed by another aha when I read the hint to the company name! Such clever writing, I am impressed!

All in all, I think that you did an excellent job here. The story is entertaining. It held my attention throughout. And that ending is just wonderful. Well done!

Suggestions:

I only have a couple of suggestions, and they're more of a personal preference than anything about the content itself:

*Snow2* I suggest increasing the font size of this piece. This would make the item more inviting and accessible.

*Snow2* I also suggest using line breaks instead of indents. Indents do the trick in printed works, but on the screen line breaks make a piece more inviting and easier to follow.

My Rating:

As you can do doubt tell, I enjoyed this story. It makes for a great read.

I did have a couple of suggestions, but they're matters of personal preference rather than suggestions about the content of the piece. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 5 out of 5.

Thank you so much for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


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13
13
Review of God Only Knows  Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
"What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Amethyst Snow Angel Author Icon

Thank you for your entry in "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a powerful piece that makes excellent use of the given prompt. Beth is indeed in over her head. She finds herself in what feels like an impossible situation. Fortunately, all is not lost.

What impresses me the most is how realistic this piece feels. I have, thankfully, never found myself in Beth's position, but I have studied psychology and worked for the police, and yes, people like Ken are out there - as are their victims. The Kens of this world do use the kind of manipulative language you used in this story. They tear down their victims' confidence, make themselves out to be the one person who would ever love them and accept them. They isolate those they prey on, then use and abuse them. It's incredibly hard to overcome. I was happy to read that Beth found that strength, and the help that she desperately needed.

It was also good to see the information at the end. You never know who your readers are, and who this might save.

You have an excellent writing voice. This story gripped me and held my attention throughout. The dialogue is excellent. All in all, great work!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions. Not helpful, I know, but I didn't spot any spelling or grammar issues, nor anything else that I thought could be improved on. Again, well done!

My Rating:

As you can no doubt tell, I am impressed with this piece. It makes for a powerful read.

I didn't have any suggestions. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 5 out of 5.

Thank you so much for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

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14
14
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Purple OnePride Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is an enjoyable flash fiction piece, T. You took the prompt in an interesting direction - haunted appliances, as the title says! A perfect fit for the spooky season.

You make good use of the first-person narrative. It's not always easy to get into the head of a character within the space of 300 words, but you skillfully help us understand your main character's thoughts and feelings. I'm totally on board with them - it must be ghosts!

I enjoyed picturing the scene - the screaming fridge freezer that wouldn't shut up, so all that the main character can do is wait it out to see if it would tire itself out. In the end it does, but what is next? It already got to the dishwasher!

The story brought a smile to my face. All in all, well done! Best of luck in the contest!

Suggestions:

I just have a couple of suggestions, dear T. Hope you find them helpful!

Paragraph 8:

*Snow2* I swear the house was quiet.

As you already used 'I swear' in paragraph 6 - 'I swear every electronic device...' - it may be worth rephrasing this second instance to avoid that bit of repetition. Something along the lines of The house was quiet, I tell you/ya! perhaps?

*Snow2* ...the freezer, started screaming.

You don't need the comma between 'freezer' and 'started'.

My Rating:

This is a cool little story. I enjoyed the read.

I only had a couple of suggestions, and they were nothing major. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

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15
15
for entry "Bring Out Your Dead" Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a well-thought-out blog response to an interesting question. You were asked about a world in which we can easily contact the dead. Who would you contact? You clearly gave it a lot of thought. I found myself nodding along as I read your post.

It is an interesting idea, a world in which contacting the dead is as easy as making a phone call. I would definitely use the opportunity to contact the people I love and lost. It would be incredible to talk with my granny again, for example. I still miss her so much. Like you, I am less interested in contacting famous people - I never knew them in person, so it'd be weird.

As you say, though, there would be exceptions. I have an MA in Philosophy and would love to discuss some thoughts and concepts with Kant, Hume, Rawls, Descartes... I have always been interested in Napoleonic history. It would be amazing to gain insight into that history directly from the source.

But then, that wouldn't make for a peaceful afterlife for the most popular people. I loved your idea of celestial PAs and answering services. There may, indeed, be moral implications as well. Contacting my loved ones, though... Finding out if pets make it to Heaven, too... I would if I could. I would also find the idea of death far less frightening.

Excellent work, Jeff!

Suggestions:

This is a blog post - your personal space to write what you like, however you like. That said, I found no spelling errors, nor any other issues. Again, well done!

My Rating:

As you could no doubt tell, I enjoyed this post. I am glad that I got to read it.

I had no suggestions. Therefore, I will give this entry a rating of 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

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16
16
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Dawn Embers Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

I really liked this entry in "Resurrection Jukebox" Open in new Window. [E]. It is a challenge I still want to participate in as well, so thank you for the reminder!

Frank Sinatra is a good choice for the challenge. He was a highly influential artist. It's amazing to think, really, that his work is loved and considered inspirational an entire century after the height of his career. Not many artists have that kind of success.

I liked the reasons you gave for why you chose his work. That glimpse into your past and your dream for the future. I think a performance like that would be an excellent idea, and I am certain that you'd have a great time. I don't know if I could do it - I performed in a few plays and each time I had terrible stage fright - but if you have the confidence, why not! I'm sure that you can make it work.

Also, I enjoyed the mention of that Friends episode about the mixed tape. That did make me giggle.

On the whole, great entry!

Suggestions:

This is a blog entry, so a free space for writers to be themselves and write in whatever way they like. That said, I didn't spot any errors. Again, well done!

My Rating:

This is a nicely written blog post. I enjoyed the read.

I didn't have any suggestions. If I could have rated this, it would have earned a 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work, and best of luck in the challenge!

Kit

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17
17
for entry "Faces in the Walls" Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi KingsSideCastle Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This item was written for "Hook of the Book" Open in new Window. [18+]. In this event writers are given an image prompt and, in turn, they have to write the kind of opening lines that would draw the reader right into the story. The current round's image is quite spooky, in line with it being October. It shows screaming faces trying to push through a wall, or perhaps a veil between realities.

I think that you did a good job capturing this in your hook. If I saw something like that I, too, would wonder if I were dreaming or if, far worse, I were losing my mind. I'd tell myself that it couldn't possibly be real, therefore I must be imagining it. Right?

Considering this contest is, indeed, about opening lines and I am, therefore, reviewing a couple of sentences there isn't much other feedback I can offer here, but I did like what you've done and wish you well in the event.

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions. There were no spelling errors, nor any issues with grammar.

My Rating:

I enjoyed your 'hook'. I think it'll do well.

I had no suggestions. Therefore, I will give this a 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

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18
18
for entry "What The Hell" Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a well-written blog post that offers plenty of food for thought. Which is just the way that I like my blog posts!

In this post you talk about why you can relate to the lyrics of Avril Lavigne's What the Hell. I hadn't heard the song before, but I must say that I get it. I get what she's on about, and I get why you feel the way that you do.

I am sorry to read about how you're being treated by a company that you worked so hard for. Stability and security are key to a good quality of life and it sounds like they've been undermining this for a long time now.

I feel that you are correct in your conclusions. Companies don't care about us. If anything were to happen to you they'd frown and sigh and say a few words, then fill your seat and carry on as though nothing had happened. In the vast majority of industries we're all of us replaceable. To your family, though, you're irreplaceable. Your family cherish each and every minute with you so yes, take those vacations. Spend time with those who love you. Strengthen bonds and build memories. We all need a paycheck, sure, but we mustn't forget who and what truly matters.

I do hope that you won't be facing that unexpected Zoom video call. I hope that they do appreciate you. You'll never be appreciated anywhere as much as you are at home, though, so that is good to keep in mind.

Suggestions:

This is a blog post - your personal space to express yourself however you want. That said, I have spotted no spelling errors, there were no issues with grammar or anything else. Excellent work!

My Rating:

As you can no doubt tell, I was impressed by this blog post. It's a well-written piece.

I had no suggestions. Therefore, I will give this post a rating of 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

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19
19
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi 💙 Carly- Hello 2025 Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]! *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a great response to the given prompt. It makes for an enjoyable read.

Sofia is a university student. In order to improve her Greek and experience Greek culture she spends the summer working in a small Greek hotel. It's hard work and there is little luxury to be had. During her time there, though, she succeeds in her goals and makes some good friends along the way.

This is a short piece, so the reader doesn't have much time to get to know the main character, but you did well with the amount of space that you had. I liked Sofia and wished her well. Annis and Petra are nice, too. I had a smile on my face by the end of the story. All in all, this is well done.

Suggestions:

I do have some suggestions. I hope that you will find them helpful!

Paragraph 4:

*Snow2* For each letter she said a work starting with that letter.

I think that 'work' should be word.

Paragraph 9:

*Snow2* ...more for a holiday that to work.

I think that 'that' should be than.

*Snow2* ...but when you work. I expect good things.

I suggest changing the period after 'work' to a comma, as the sentence doesn't end there.

My Rating:

As you can no doubt tell I enjoyed this piece. I was glad to read and review it.

I did have a few suggestions. Nothing major, though. Therefore, I will give this item a 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

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20
20
Review of Ug Journal  Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Genipher Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a fun, creative piece, Genipher Author Icon. I checked out the challenge that you wrote it for and you did an excellent job writing these journal entries your character would have written.

You haven't chosen the easiest character for this challenge. Ug is a caveman and has his very own voice. It took me a moment to get into it and then I enjoyed the entries - some of them made me smile. Whilst they are entertaining, they also reflect the challenges of life that people faced in those days. The cold, the predators, illness... I loved the adoption of Alyi, and the touch of spirituality.

What I liked as well is that you used emoticons rather than dates for the entries. It made me think of the paintings found in caves.

Within a relatively short amount of space I grew to like these characters. The various relationships and the differences and similarities between people then and now.

All in all, this is great. Well done!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions. Not helpful, I know, but I like this the way that it is. Ug has his own style of grammar, and it works. Again, good job.

My Rating:

As you can no doubt tell I like this piece. It is fun and cleverly written.

I had no suggestions. Therefore, I will give this item the 5 out of 5 that I feel it deserves.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

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21
21
Review of Catastrophe  Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Genipher Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

What a fun story this is! And what an excellent use of the prompt words! I especially love what you did with the 'catastrophe' requirement. Very creative - it made me smile when I realised who the tutors were.

Marvin and his team have a new and different approach to art. In this story we meet their first customer, Emily. She likes the art that's on display, but she's uncertain about her own talent. Thankfully, the tutors are there to help make her dream come true - and Marvin's, too, because they're helpful like that.

You did a good job at drawing me in and making me curious about what was going to happen next. The characters are endearing. I genuinely wished them well. I enjoyed the tone of the piece. The dialogue has a natural flow to it. And the ending was sweet. All in all, this makes for a good reading experience. Great work!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions, sorry. Not helpful, I know, but I didn't spot a single mistake, nor anything that I felt could be improved upon. Again, well done!

My Rating:

As you can no doubt tell, I liked this story. I hope that it won the contest.

I had no suggestions. Therefore, I will give this item the 5 out of 5 that I feel it deserves.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

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22
22
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi ruwth Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

What an inspirational piece! And it reached me just at the right time! You raised the question, "What has to go for you to grow." As I read that an answer popped into my head immediately, and it was the exact same answer as yours - food.

I, too, have had a very poor relationship with food. I am recovering from purging disorder. I have not purged for years, either, but my relationship with food is still not what it ought to be. I comfort eat and snack too much. Just as I opened your item I was about to reach for some chocolate, even though I shouldn't. And I haven't. I need to get healthy. To grow in the right way, rather than the wrong one. Thank you for reminding me of that, and for the encouragement offered by your writing.

It's not easy. You can be proud of yourself for how far you have come. I hope that I can follow your good example.

Along with the inspiration offered this is a well-written piece. I like the layout and the use of colour. Everything is clear, inviting, and easy to follow. Well done!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions, sorry. As I mentioned above, everything was clear. I think that this is great the way it is. Again, excellent work!

My Rating:

This is a good, inspirational item. I was glad to read it.

I had no suggestions. Therefore, I will give this item the 5 out of 5 it deserves.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

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23
23
Review of The Re-Quest  Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Genipher Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

Oh I like this! It brings me back to my free-form text-based role-playing days, and taps right into my love of Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman's DragonLance novels. I have a feeling that your husband has read those!

The choice of second-person narration is an interesting one. I haven't encountered it often before, and it took some getting used to but it works. It makes the story read more like a D&D session, and draws the reader into the piece. So, it's a bold yet effective move!

I found Gerald to be a fun character, and the crew is classic fantasy. I would love to go on an adventure with them, even if it's just to help find the guy's marbles.

The request/re-quest play was clever, too. In fact, you have chosen your words well throughout. It makes for a smooth and entertaining read. I sure wouldn't mind a follow-up of the quest for the Azure Stone of the Indigo Wizard!

All in all, well done. I hope you won!

Suggestions:

I only spotted one tiny thing:

Paragraph 5:

*Snow2* Avent I told ya million times

Aven't I told ya a million times, perhaps?

My Rating:

This is a clever, entertaining piece. I enjoyed the read.

I did have one suggestion, but it's only minor. I don't feel that it should affect the rating it deserves - a 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

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24
24
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Weirdone-Back in the games Author Icon,

This review is a part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a fun little story about a couple seeking a divorce. They live in a state where getting a divorce is not straightforward, so they have to find a way to get the judge to agree.

In a way, the characters are quite endearing. They may not agree on a lot, but they do not actually want to hurt the other. I was amused at the scene with the spoon, and the telephone call with Diane. You painted a fun picture there, and the whole piece is just a joy to read.

I did have to look up the Oscar Mayer Wiener (carefully, I must add, because you never know with Google), and yeah, that makes the conclusion even funnier. The question is, did he or didn't he? How indeed did Sheri know? Guess Arnold has some explaining to do!

All in all, you did well with this.

Suggestions:

I do have a few suggestions. I hope that you'll find them helpful.

Paragraph 1:

*Snow2* ...Hilda Mathews Presiding!

I don't think 'Presiding' needs to be capitalised.

Paragraph 9:

*Snow2* ...to get a divorce in this state there has to be either physical cruelty or divorce."

I think, going by the rest of the story, 'or divorce' was intended to be or adultery.

Paragraph 20:

*Snow2* You use two different spellings for Sheri/Sherie here. That is something to have a look at.

Paragraph 40:

*Snow2* You're the one that's accusing her of this.

As this is part of the dialogue, I suggest adding a quotation mark here.

My Rating:

This is an entertaining story. It made for an enjoyable read.

I did have a few suggestions. Nothing major, though. Therefore, I will give this story a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


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25
25
Review of Food Feast  Open in new Window.
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi PureSciFi Author Icon,

I am writing this review as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is an interesting twist on the prompt. Kaszime is spending some time in Community Thirty-Seven, and Braak is there to help her learn about this community. It is a good thing that he is there, because there is some tension and unrest and, more worrying than that even, people are dying. They are dying after eating some of the food.

Throughout the story we learn about different aspects of the community and the various races who live there. Braak and Kaszime try to keep the peace and do their best to uncover where the problems with the food stem from.

I enjoyed the setting. It has a lot of possibilities. The characters of Braak and Kaszime are interesting, too. I could see this become a longer piece - even a novel, perhaps. Well done!

Does this item meet the contest requirements?

Yes, there is a problem with the food in Community Thirty-Seven. People are dying. The main characters are trying to figure out what is going on.

Suggestions:

*Snow2* Sometimes when a question is asked you use a period instead of a question mark. I suggest using a question mark for greater clarity.

*Snow2* In part 2 Braak says that he is one of the Protectors who protect Community Sixty-Seven. They are walking through his community, but then in the next part of the story it is referred to as Community Thirty-Seven. That is a little confusing.

*Snow2* This feels like it is a part of a longer story. There is no real conclusion. We do not learn the cause of the deaths. I am unclear about Braak's motivations. Is there to be a sequel to this?

My Rating:

I enjoyed this story. It is an interesting take on the prompt.

I did have a few suggestions. I would have liked to see a more rounded piece, with a more definite conclusion. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

Reviewing sig featuring a Chat and a Sock.


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