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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kirlybab
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138 Public Reviews Given
176 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I was looking for an erotica group and found your newsletter. So happy that I did.

Your header is clear and conscise. The only thing I would add is that your forum is restricted to members only. I tried to go there to leave a note that I would like to join and found it restricted, which disappointed me.

Very nice. I hope you will accept me as a member.

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2
Review of Why  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This is very interesting. I don't know if I like the large font or the bold, but that is just a personal opinion.

Your rating is wrong with the swear word in it. I would suggest reading the Content Rating system, which a link can be found where you rate your item when you are creating it.

As I said very interesting.

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3
Review of My Shadow  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Very interesting.

I would use more imagery. Maybe something more about it being the same shape as yourself. I like the "It mirrors me on the wall"... I would also move more, or say something about it also mirroring my every move.

It's good just the way it is. I just think there could be more. JMHO

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4
Review of choices  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (3.0)
Typos in the whole thing. i"l? ... extra space before lemons. None of the "i's" are capatalized.

Yoru description indicates a happier poem than this. It makes things confusing.

A very fine effort.

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5
5
Review of The Bookstore  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (3.5)
I love it.

I would word some of it differently.

Are our dreams and many pleasures.....

I believe derranged is spelled with two r's.

This could easily be about a library. I would try to put more in it about the purchase of the book. The only thing that indicates a store is calling the person a customer towards the end. A patron could easily also be at a library.

A very nice piece.

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6
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
I love the imagery used here with the rainbow, and the running. I can see how bright that raimbow is, feel myself trying to run fast enough. *Thumbsup*

This is definitely a fine piece, though I think it could be expanded more. I also don't care for the let down at the end. I think I would of used something like "I am only human. All I can do is care and be here to support you." or something similar.

I am sure that all wish they could do such things for a good friend.

Bravo!


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7
7
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I can so relate to this piece, as I am sure many others can.

I would clean it up more as far as punctuation, which would make it much easier to read. Also, I think some of the breaks should possibly be in different places to emphasize more some of the thoughts.

A very very good piece.

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8
Review of I Have A Dream  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (3.0)
I like this piece very much.

The repetition of the word "dream" may offend some, but to me it keeps us in that state of dreaming, like I am hearing the random thoughts of a daydreamer.

The only suggestion I would make is to engage the five senses more. Metaphor, similie and such would help us be in the dream even more. Does the guardian angel blind you with its brightness, or does it glow more like soft moonlight? What feelings and emotions does the dreams of heaven evoke? A dream to become what? A guardian angel? just successful? What would it feel like if that dream came true? We need imagery to bring us further into the daydream.

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9
9
Review of Gong Xi Fa Cai  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (3.0)
I enjoyed the facts given here about what Chinese New Year is, specifically this year. I've always wanted to learn more and you have satisfied my curiosity.

I personally would call this prose instead of poetry. I don't know much about all the forms of poetry, however, so I wouldn't put too much stock in that. To me poetry was meant to rhyme.

A very very fine effort.

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10
10
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great idea!!!!

Good job RAOK!!!!

Lovely images for the notes too!!!!

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11
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
As I said in my previous review, I am suprised someone didn't come up with an idea like this before. Great thinking!!!!

Great job as always RAOK!!!!

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12
12
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I don't like the star rating system. jmho

I really like this idea. I can't believe someone didn't come up with something like this sooner.

Great job RAOK!!!!
13
13
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nothing is every perfect but this is wonderful.

Still focuses on god as masculine and one, thus not incorporating all beliefs, but indeed a fine effort.

I applaud thee, my sister!

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14
14
Review of Map of My Port  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I came here thnking you had an image shop of your own, your images are wonderful!!!

I am delightfully surprised, however, of your wonderous port.

I love this port map, I always thought everyone should have one if they have more than five items, even though I do not.

Even though it says you were going to update the links in Dec 2010, there are many invalid item links. These annoy me just about as much as irritating sayings.....

I enjoyed myself immensely here and look forward to returning sometime.

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15
15
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Interesting survey.

I found a saying once that said "God doesn't give us what we can handle, he helps us handle what we are given".....

it made me stop blaming the Deities for everything that was going wrong in my life and instead ask for help in dealing with it.

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16
16
Review of Noticing Newbies  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a great place for newbies and seasoned members of every area of writing to interact and help each other!

I like to come here to help out the newcomer, and to remember what it was like to be a newcomer to writing.com and to the writing life....

Sometimes all it takes is to remember that awe and inspiration you had when you first started writing to inspire you to write anew!!!!

*Thumbsup* *Thumbsup*

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17
17
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Love it!

What a great and inspiring way to help someone start a blog or give them ideas to spice up an old one!

Your instructions are a little confusing, and I hate long headers, especially to forums. My suggestion, or how I would have done it, was to create a static item with the list of participants blogs rather than listing them in the header. Also, even if you do not know how to create banners and sigs, colored fonts and emoticons tend to dress-up and make a header more exciting....

JMHO

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18
18
Review of The Sun  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
Sorry, but to me it doesn't make much sense.

Also, unless it is the standard type, I think, saying there is enough room to do so and plenty of other colors and type styles to do it in, that a description of the type of poem it is would be very helpful.

I applaud the effort.

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19
19
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I would double-space the paragraphs to make it easier to read.

Some of the flowerylanguage/imagery is too much. That much is only used in poetry. It does work here; but barely. I believe it would turn most away from reading the whole thing.

Still, if the poetic ambiance is what you were going for, you nailed it.

Bravo!

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20
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In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)

Good, though I don't know if someone who didn't know you would know what you were talking about.......

There's a couple of typos; too many spaces in one place and one wrong letter.

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21
21
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I would have split up the last line.

Very, very nice.

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22
22
Review of New Year's Bash  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I absolutely love the way that part of the proceeds for this auction go to the donators....

...my belief, and JMHO, is that for something like this, however, that the donations should be gifts to you for your birthday.....

Nice graphics and beautiful donations by all..... Bravo!

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Review of Blessed Be  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Merry Meet,


ind sings on your skin and?

I have a "drusy" that I have grown. Extra kudos for defining an uncommon word.

Blessed Be, my sister.

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24
24
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

Matter comes into being
often without thought;
Or so we think -
And you can't touch a thought.

I just don't like it when someone repeats the same word for the rhyme. JMO

No spelling errors detected.

Very, very nice.

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25
25
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
faces behind I see loom I see the faces behind that loom???
Remove the capitalization after the comma in stanza 3
so nothing I find{/I] so nothing to find?

I also would double space just to make it easier to read.....

I usually do not squabble over punctuation in poetry, but I just believe that one capitalization takes away from the flow of the piece.

No spelling errors found.

I really like the flow. Very nice.

p.s. I don't accept rewards for reviews. I think it is a waste. It is easy to blabber like this and put in enough words.

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