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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kioma2
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27 Public Reviews Given
261 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Live  Open in new Window.
Review by Everlite Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
One major thing i would do is puncutate it-it makes it easier to read how you insteneded it to be read-the way you imagined it, not the way the reader makes up on their own. Puncuation is like signs on the road side.

If you know how to read them poperly, you won't get lost easily, whidth out them you won't know where you are, a map could be useless, and you're more than likely to get lost.

But wheather you do puncutate it or not is your choice and yours along-no matter how much anybody bugs you.

Just a thought for you. lol
other wise, this is an amazing piece! write on!

-Vincent
2
2
Review of WINTER WALK  Open in new Window.
Review by Everlite Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
" for comfort, warmth". Personaly I think it woud sound a little better if you added a "for" in front of the "warmth"

"for comfort, for warmth." that would end it in a more round about way.

Awesome job and keep it up! Write on!

Yours truly,
Vincent
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