This story was well written, clear and concise. I related to your main character, Garrett, and I like how you included reference to the oath to defend our nation "against all enemies, foreign and domestic" that all servicemen take. Your story provokes one to think about the signs and times happening all around us. Could we learn from history? There were more than a million Germans out of work in 1929 just after the Wall Street crash. Food shortages and rioting were just part of the problems Hidenberg, their President, faced. He used existing law to expedite economic relief by appointing a Chancellor who was given ruling power to make immediate decisions that did not have to go through weeks and months of political debate. Basically, he gave the Chancellor the power of a dictatorship. Hitler was that Chancellor. Thank you for this "wake-up" call.
I think you have an excellent grasp of metaphor use. I could see myself in the poem with my experiences matching up to the concepts you wrote, especially lines 3 and 4. It is a hard lesson to learn, that true freedom comes with adhering to rules and guidelines.
I enjoyed your story and felt like I was really there and experiencing it myself. It reminded me of when I was a young girl and my family visited the Cathedral of St. Mary in Seville, Spain. It has become more of a museum than an active Catholic Church. There were many exhibits but what I remember most was that great portions were roped off and we could not go into those areas. The active child in me wanted so much to check out those forbidden areas. Your description of the study room reminded me of the rich woodwork and the wonderful smells that comes from well kept wood flooring and paneling in older buildings. I also enjoyed how you built the suspense of wanting to see the study room. As I read your story I got to the point of wanting to see it too! Thank you for sharing your experience in such an excellent way.
Thank you for your honest look at NaNoWriMo. I too plan to enter this year and the challenge seems daunting, but I am determined. I have had the idea for the book for a number of years but could never just sit down and do it. I like the idea of designing the book cover. I think I will work on that for mine as well as some simple pen and ink drawings, possibly as chapter face pages? Good luck and do not give up!
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