I think this is a very good short story, one I think you could make into a full novel if you wanted. It sort of reminded me a little of Shrek with the female troll transforming from beautiful to ugly and also having the guy turn into a troll at the end but that's not a bad thing. I'm not good with grammar so I can't help you with that but I like your plot. You have a lot to work with if you wanted to expand or maybe make a short story collection about Will and Odora.
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