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Review by New Albion Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I love surprise endings as well as humor at the expense of the human condition which can be absurd anyway. Nice capture of scene during the game. You are a very good writer and I see only a need to fine tune the prose, cutting out the unnecessary words that bog down the sentences. One suggestion might be reading the draft aloud and when you stumble over a sentence that is the time to rework it. Also rather than beginning a paragraph with "Making it home," or "Settling down," or "Cursing softly" you might want to rework the sentence.
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