WOW!! What a riveting story. Very well told. I was in 7th grade the day John Kennedy died and remember every day of those 4 eventful days as if they were yesterday. I was living in Hamilton, Mass. It must have been such a joy for you to have seen him and to have precious memories to keep close to your heart, as well as to share with your new friends. It's amazing how friendships can form and last a lifetime.
Your writing is well done, grammar and editing are great. I found nothing I would want you to change. Thank you for sharing your experience.
First, let me say I thought the basic concept of the story was very good. I liked the relationship between Kayla and Rosa. I liked how you built their relationship from the ground up. Then, you showed how destructive obsessions can be. The flow of the story was well written and was easy to read.
With that said, I do feel that it was in need of editing. There were numerous grammatical and punctuation errors. It is best to have someone else proofread your work before submitting it. I have found that it helps me.
Overall, not too bad. Please continue to write. You have a great talent for telling a story. Would like to read more of your work.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 7:25pm on Dec 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "