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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/katelynne
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7 Public Reviews Given
7 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Katelynne Blaire Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This story made me smile and chuckle, especially when I realized the protagonist was a bull. I also liked the play on the old cliche of "I ate my words". I have to say the way you incorporated your username into the story was cute, as well as incorporating another author was cute. I encourage you to keep writing, you have a likable style. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..
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Review of Rockabee  Open in new Window.
Review by Katelynne Blaire Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think this is a beautiful analogy. I have never heard of the process of the change the Creator creates in us described in such a way before, and I really liked the symbolism of the 'V' as well. The conflict from the fellow rocks is so true as, but the longing cannot be ignored forever. All in all I hope to see more like this, it truly was a lovely piece of work. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..
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Review by Katelynne Blaire Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Your story was definitely descriptive and steamy-what I call a bath-time read. My critique really only applies to the story technically, since the content was enjoyable to read. You started off as if you were telling Steve the story, but you ended almost as if you were just remembering what happened, since you described in detail the anal sex, but then said you wouldnt tell Steve about it. Other than that I really liked your story.
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Review by Katelynne Blaire Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I cannot wait to read more of this. Your attention to detail makes it very easy to slip right ito the room with the characters. My only critique is the sentence structure seems a bit choppy. For example:
" I open the door to find a body at my feet. The rich smell of blood causes my canines to lengthen. Reaching out in the darkness, I flip on the switches. Light comes on across the room, illuminating the dead guy lying face down in front of me. "

The first two sentences and the second two sentences could easily be combined so that the paragraph flows more with out all of th pauses. (I open the door to find a body at my feet and the rich smell of blood causes my canines to lengthen. Reaching out in the darkness, I flip on the switches and light comes across the room, illuminating the dead guy lying face down in front of me.)
I guess it really is more a matter of preference, it just seemed smoother to me combined.
Looking forward to more, good luck.
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