I like the whole idea of this poem and the peacefulness of it. There are some lines I like, like "At times the bindings start to fray, and I start to panic" and "The air is raw tonight". Try to stay away from cliches that are over-used, such as "So close, but yet so far", "But we could be miles apart" and "Know that I am always there for you".
I like "Me, drifting, a balloon" because it's original.
Try to make every line count something towards the poem and not just put them in there.
But there is great potential. All the best!!
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