I like the whole idea of this poem and the peacefulness of it. There are some lines I like, like "At times the bindings start to fray, and I start to panic" and "The air is raw tonight". Try to stay away from cliches that are over-used, such as "So close, but yet so far", "But we could be miles apart" and "Know that I am always there for you".
I like "Me, drifting, a balloon" because it's original.
Try to make every line count something towards the poem and not just put them in there.
But there is great potential. All the best!!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kahleigh
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 7:45am on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX2.